


The Queen's First Time

by Cassio_563



Category: Frozen - Fandom
Genre: Dialogue driven plot, F/M, First Time, Hansla, Iceburns, Instructor Hans, New experience, Past Memories, Sexual Content, Slow Pace, Student Elsa, discovering each other, helsa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 13:10:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 43,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4836581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassio_563/pseuds/Cassio_563
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the fanfiction The Queen’s Admiral by Secretcastle. A full recount of Elsa and Hans’ first night together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Queen's Admiral](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1492891) by [secretcastle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretcastle/pseuds/secretcastle). 



> Disclaimer: This story is not intended, in any way, for profit or any other sort of remuneration. All creative rights of the characters and the world of Frozen belong to Walt Disney.
> 
> A huge thanks to Secretcastle for her endless support and encouragement. This story is unbeta’ed and English is not my native language, so I apologize in advance for any errors there could be. If anyone is interested in beta-reading my Helsa content, please let me know with a comment. Enjoy.

_Two bodies face to face_  
_Are at times two waves_  
_And the night is an ocean._  
  
_Two bodies face to face_  
_Are sometimes two stones_  
_And the night a desert._  
  
_Two bodies face to face_  
_Are at times two roots_  
_laced into the night._  
  
_Two bodies face to face_ _  
_ _Are sometimes two knives_  
_And night strikes sparks._ _  
_  
_Two bodies face to face_ _  
_ _Are two stars falling_  
_In an empty sky._  
  
—Octavio Paz  
  
_I want to do with you what Spring does with the cherry trees._ _  
_  
—Pablo Neruda  
  
"I believe this covers everything for today, gentlemen," said the Queen with her forearms laying on the desk and her hands intertwined. "Thank you."  
  
She and her advisory council had just finished their weekly meeting on state affairs.  
  
"You're welcome, Your Majesty."  
  
"Good evening, Your Highness," were the replies she received from her subjects as they stood up from their chairs. These included Foreign Affairs Minister Lord Hensen, Finance Minister Lord Berg, the overseer of the castle, Mr. Kai Nilsen, and the chief of Arendelle's navy, Admiral Hans Westergard. There was also her nephew, Prince Fredrik, of thirteen years of age and heir to the crown, who attended the meetings as part of his diplomatic training.  
  
"Admiral, could you stay for a second please?" she asked looking at him once as she also stood up.  
  
The Admiral nodded, sitting down again.  
  
Prince Fredrik approached her.  
  
"Aunt, we still have practice later, right?" He had inherited Elsa’s powers and she was teaching him, when they both had free time, how to control and use them.  
  
"Yes," she answered him, her eyes softening when she looked at his young face. "But can we move it to six thirty? I need to finish up some paperwork."  
  
"Yes, no problem." The boy smiled. "Six thirty then. See you later." He turned to the Admiral, under whom he was receiving military training on the Queen’s flagship, the _Alexandra_. "Commanding Officer." He adopted a firm stance.  
  
"You're dismissed, Prince," was all the redhead and finely dressed man said.  
  
As soon as his nephew left the room after the other council members, the Queen froze the door's lock from the inside, walking around her desk. She went to where the Admiral was, nudging herself between his knees and sitting on one of his thighs. A small smile grazed her lips as she leaned in to kiss him.  
  
He returned the kiss eagerly, one arm circling her waist, his hand holding her face. They both exhaled contented sighs when they separated.  
  
"Elsa, we shouldn't do this here?"  
  
"I haven't seen you for days," she said as if it was reason enough to kiss him in private.  
  
"And you know why. I've been busy, we both have been."  
  
"I miss being with you," her fingers played with the neck of his shirt, "like we did in the fall."  
  
They were in the middle of February, in full winter season. Months earlier they had been able to meet secretly in different places of the castle’s outskirts with the use of horses, hiding themselves in small forests or behind nooks naturally made on the mountains' hillsides. But now, with the cold and snow covering everything that option was discarded, not so much for the Queen, as the cold didn't bother her, but for him.  
  
"We see each other quite often, nonetheless, save for when we have to travel abroad on our own. And Spring is around the corner."  
  
"You know what I mean. Yes, we see each other, but we can't do this." She kissed him again, her fluffy lips lingering on his.  
  
Hans inhaled deeply.  
  
"I understand, believe me, because I want to kiss you as much as you want to kiss me, and I also want to spend time with you. But we should be careful." He put in place one rebel lock of platinum hair.  
  
"I froze the bolt of the door so no one can come in," she said, meaning she was being meticulous.  
  
"And what will the person that tries to open it and sees it is locked think? That we're doing everything except what we should."  
  
Her gaze dropped shyly by the insinuation. "Or that we just don't want to be bothered."  
  
"Really? Where have you seen that a man and a woman lock themselves to work together?" She stayed silent, and so he continued. "We've always worked with open doors, having nothing to hide, and it should remain that way. If not people will start suspecting and we'll just give more credit to the rumors that already exist about us."  
  
She knew he was right and that it was probably the feelings she harbored for him that was making her do those foolish things.  
  
"I understood you wanted to keep secret what we have between us," he said remembering the day they had acknowledged the feelings they had for each other.  
  
"And I do." She wasn't ready to face the reaction of her people, of them knowing she was romantically involved with her Admiral, with whom she didn't intend to marry, something very inappropriate and scandalous in the times they were living in, specially for someone of her position. Besides, she had to think of her kingdom first, and then of herself. She had always known that marrying for love was not an option for her, not when an arranged marriage could benefit her nation politically and economically. And even if the occasion presented itself, she had to be careful who she was giving her hand to, and with more reason if it was the Admiral. She knew he wasn’t after the crown anymore, but still… it didn’t mean he wouldn’t welcome more power into his hands. But most of all, she wasn't ready to face Anna. She had made a promise to her, a promise that explicitly said she wouldn’t marry him, him in particular, and for the time being, she didn’t intend to break it.  
  
It was undeniable though that what they felt for each other was strong, powerful, intense, and that it kept growing day by day. It sometimes frightened her, and others it made her think, trying to understand why he was acting the way he was. Her mind wandered to the question that had been bothering her, the question she had meant to ask him for weeks, but hadn't found the courage to. From the beginning, from their real first kiss, he had always behaved properly, treated her with respect, and made her feel cherished, important, and loved, very loved, in a way she hadn’t been before. Still, that didn’t explain his physical passiveness in regards to her when she knew how the title of ‘conqueror’ preceded him and she had been an indirect witness of it.  
  
"Can I ask you something personal that… has to do with me?" she asked warily.  
  
"You know you can." His fingers were playing with the end of her blonde braid.  
  
"I would like you to be honest..."  
  
"When haven't I been honest with you, Elsa?" It was true. Even when he had landed in Arendelle more than a decade and a half earlier with the intention of seizing the kingdom, deceiving her sister and trying to kill her, even then, he had told her the truth he knew at the time. And now that sincerity, built between them along the years, had already borne its fruits. It was one of the most important reasons of why their relationship had worked so well so far.  
  
"Why... why haven't you tried to bed me yet?" There, she had finally asked it.  
  
The Admiral, surprised for an instant, looked at her, trying to guess what was really behind that question. He relaxed, a small smile appearing on the corners of his mouth.  
  
"Because I want to keep on living," he jested.  
  
"I'm being serious." Her firm stare cautioned him.  
  
"And I'm not joking." He let go of her hair. "I haven't tried because I didn't know I could, that you were open to it. You told me once that I didn't stand a chance with you, that trying to seduce you wouldn't work."  
  
"Haven't you been seducing me all these months?"  
  
Hans smiled as if the question seemed funny.  
  
"I think it's the other way around, you are the one who has been seducing me." The look on his eyes mirrored how well that beguilement had work. "Why do you ask me this? What has prompted it?"  
  
"Nothing really… It's only that I remember how when we crossed the Southern Isles and had to run from the ship of your brother, the _Hyacinth_ , we rested at that woman's house... What was her name…? Viscaria," she remembered, a beautiful dark haired woman with a sun-kissed skin, mother of a small girl, who the Admiral, Captain at that time, had saved from the _Nasturtium_ , a slaver ship. "It didn't take you more than two days to sleep with her." She looked at him a little bit embarrassed. "It makes me wonder, after several months, I don't know… if there's something you don’t like about me, if I'm not enough." Her eyes lowered to her fidgety fingers. "I definitely know I'm not becoming any younger."  
  
Hans sighed, mentally kicking himself for not having seen this coming. He tightened his embrace on her, so she would pay attention.  
  
"Would it calm you if I said that I wish I could make love to you right here, right now, to vanish your doubts?" he whispered in her ear.  
  
The Queen reddened intensely, not being able to turn her head to look at him. She shook her head.  
  
"No, it would only make me more nervous." She rested herself against his body, her head on his shoulder.  
  
"Okay, then I won't say it." Elsa smiled like an enamored teenager, because he already had. "But what I will say is that you are a lot more than enough and that I don't mind your age or how good-looking you think you ought to be. I didn't fall in love with you because of your beauty."  
  
"Why then?" Her heart shaped face looked at him.  
  
"You already know." His tone was playful.  
  
"No, I don't," she half lied.  
  
"You just want to hear me say it." She smiled guiltily and that undid him. "I fell in love with you because of the way you are, of the way you think and act, because of your strength, your wit, your self-possession, your compassion, and much more…" Elsa’s eyes shone, her heart thundering in her chest, rejoiced by his words. "And that's all in here." He touched her temple. "I'm in love with your head, Elsa, with your mind." He kissed her forehead with fondness.  
  
"I believe I can understand now why you tried to behead me that day so long ago… You just wanted the head of the ice witch…" she humored darkly after a few seconds, a wicked smile gracing her lips.  
  
The Admiral’s eyes opened widely, like dishes.  
  
"I can't believe you just made a joke with that," he said aghast, not knowing very well if to laugh or to look repented.  
  
"Me neither," she laughed with mirth seeing his expression. "But since I don’t attract you by my looks, what else than to be funny and be able to laugh about our past together."  
  
Hans loosened up. If she could banter about such a delicate subject, it only meant she had healed more than he could have anticipated.  
  
"Don’t be silly. You are gorgeous, which only helps me feel more attracted to you. Besides, you do look younger than your age."  
  
"Don’t try to fix it now, Admiral," she teased caressing his well shaved jaw. He kissed her palm, his keen jade iris courting her silently.  
  
They stayed looking at each other for some time, the Queen admiring his handsome features. Her fingertips touched the freckles on his cheeks and nose. She could tell the comical moment had passed, and that instead, emotions were filling the air between them. She decided to go on with the conversation she had started.  
  
"Does all this mean that you would spend the night with me if I asked you to?" There was no trace of amusement in her voice this time.  
  
"Well, that depends."  
  
She frowned. "Of what?"  
  
"Of why you want me to. Sleeping with someone is an important step that you shouldn't take lightly."  
  
"It didn't seem that important to you when you slept with Viscaria," she said glancing sideways.  
  
"It's not the same, you can't compare. That was a one-time thing," he tried to explain. "There was attraction, eagerness on both parts, and we both knew very well what we were about to do and that we wouldn't be seeing each other again." He paused, inhaling, looking at her as if she was a very difficult feat to achieve. "With you, however, it's not so simple. It would be your first time and there are real feelings involved here that we should protect. That is without mentioning the fact that I work for you and that we see each other pretty often, if not daily sometimes, and that if you ever decided to marry or anyone found out about it, it would only harm you. The truth is… that I respect you too much to even consider dishonoring you."  
  
Elsa sat up straight. She appreciated that respect, but not that much if it prevented him from pursuing her. Had she been ten years younger, it would have undoubtedly flattered her.  
  
"I wouldn't be the first Queen to arrive impure to marriage," she informed him.  
  
"Certainly" he conceded.  
  
"And we could be discreet about it, like we've been until now. No one would have to discover it," she continued, trying to win her case.  
  
"So you've been really giving it a thought..." He watched her in a new light, realizing for the first time she was honestly being serious about it. He had always imagined that if the time came, he would be the one to take the first step, but the roles were reversed, and she confirmed it with her next words.  
  
"Is that a bad thing? Do you think less of me for wanting to try it with you, for voicing it out loud?" she asked timidly, looking at him out of the corner of her eyes. "I mean, I'm not a twenty-five year old maiden anymore..."  
  
She was curious, she wanted to experiment, and whether he believed it or not, she was choosing him for it.  
  
"I would be honored, Elsa. I don't think less of you, you know I like your directness," he tried to reassure her.  
  
"Then what is the problem?"  
  
"There is no problem. I simply believe you should think better about it."  
  
"And here I thought you would jump at the opportunity of getting in my bed…" she huffed with irony.  
  
He pulled from her braid lightly so she would look at him again.  
  
"Don't misinterpret me, dear, I'm trying to be polite here. I really want to bed you, more than you can even imagine. It is precisely because of that, because of how much I desire you and of how much it would mean to me, that I think both of us must be very sure about it, especially you. We shouldn't rush it. It should be special and you have to feel comfortable with it." There was a ocean of knowledge in the depth of his eyes that she couldn’t quite comprehend with her inexperience. She felt as if he was trying to protect her from something, even if she couldn’t pinpoint what it was. She paid it no mind.  
  
"Who says I'm not already feeling comfortable?" she refuted, her chin rising up.  
  
The Admiral smiled; she was so strong minded.  
  
"I don't think you're following me," he said sitting straighter on the chair with her still on top of his thigh. "What we've been sharing all these months, the kisses, the hugs, the hand holding, the small caresses, the stolen glances, are just the tip of the iceberg in what relates to sex." Without permission, the hand that was at her waist moved up over the lateral of her torso and held one breast from underneath; the other got lost between the opening of her ice blue dress, his fingers stroking the interior face of one leg, going upwards, past the knee and into her thigh. The Queen stopped breathing, her body perking up by his bold touch. Her startled azure eyes never left his knowing verdant ones, suspended for an instant in a symbolic exchange. After a few seconds, she rapidly placed her own hands on his, stopping him, closing her legs at the same time. Hans removed his extremities and put them again in safe areas, his point clearly stated. "I'm going to be touching you a lot more than that if we sleep together, and not only with my hands. Are you ready for that? Are you ready to let me see you naked, to put yourself in my hands? To work with me the following day and act as if nothing has happened? I already have all my questions answered, but you should devote more time to yours."  
  
"I see…" she voiced weakly assimilating what had just happened, her cheeks flaming red.  
  
"Take your time, we're not in a hurry. I'll accept whatever you decide to do, whether it is to move forward or to remain as we are now."  
  
"You would really stay with me like this without expecting more in the future?" Her tone was incredulous. Maybe she hadn’t slept with a man before, but she didn’t need to to know what all men expected sooner or later when in the company of a woman.  
  
"Would that be so hard to believe? I have until now," Hans answered very calmly.  
  
"You don't seem to be the kind of man that settles for this."  
  
At this point, the Admiral thought of how little conscious she was of her influence on him. "What kind of man am I then?"  
  
"The kind that gets what he wants." And this she knew for a fact, for his past showed how relentless he was when pursuing his goals.  
  
"Who says I’m not getting what I want already?" he asked confidently, smiling because it was a similar question to the one she had used before.  
  
The Queen squinted at him. "You know what I mean."  
  
Hans chuckled, giving in. "I want more, I don't deny it, but I want you to want it too, that's all."  
  
She pondered his answer for a few seconds, determining it was a valid one for her. "All right."  
  
"I should go."  
  
_But you've barely kissed me_ , she suddenly thought, remembering why she had locked the door in the first place, the disillusion showing fleetingly on her eyes. She stood up and stepped aside, placing her thin and transparent cape out of the way.  
  
They walked together in silence towards the door. She turned to him gracefully, her hands clasped in front of her.  
  
"Well, I hope you have a good evening," she wished him with a forced smile.  
  
The Admiral caught her by the waist, bringing her closer, his other hand holding her face, his thumb tracing her cheek. His green eyes studied her for a moment.  
  
"Don't look so disappointed," he whispered before fitting his lips on her mouth. Elsa exhaled, succumbing, opening up for him, her arms circling him over his uniform jacket. He gave her what she wanted, sinking his avid tongue inside her sweet cocoon. He took his time, exploring her mouth thoroughly, changing the angle to penetrate her better. Elsa allowed him to consume her.  
  
They were breathless when they separated, their bodies ignited by the flame of passion.  
  
"Don't go," she pleaded with a dreamy look. It was not very often that he kissed her that way.  
  
Hans touched her swelled up lips with his thumb, a predatory look on his eyes. Elsa's knees always trembled when she was at the other end of that gaze.  
  
"I have to. I shouldn't be here."  
  
She could tell it was hard for him to leave her, so she tried to make it easier for him.  
  
"Will you stay longer next time?" She embraced him, laying her face on his chest. His chin rested on her hair.  
  
"I promise you I'll find more time for us."  
  
They breathed in unison embracing each other until Elsa distanced herself, only their hands connecting them.  
  
"Go."  
  
Hans kissed her on the cheek, the forehead, the nose and the mouth. It was a little game they played when they had to part ways.  
  
"Have a good evening, darling," he said also kissing the back of her hand.  
  
"You too," she replied affectionately.  
  
Elsa unfroze the lock. The Admiral opened the door and, before crossing the threshold, winked at her. She stayed in her office feeling like her heart would burst from the love that flooded her.  
  
***  
  
_Two weeks later..._  
  
"I'm ready, Hans," she said turning to him once they were left alone in his cabin at the _Alexandra_. They had just finished a meeting with some of the captains under the Admiral's command regarding a possible new trading agreement between the kingdoms of Arendelle and Glowerhaven with the Americas. Both Queen Elsa and Queen Constanza were excited about expanding their businesses beyond the Atlantic ocean. The contracts and documentation were still being studied and the negotiations continued, but if everything went according to plan and there were no surprises, it was pretty certain that the first trip to the new continent was to take place in early Spring and part of the Navy was going to participate to ensure the goods and natural resources arrived there without incidents.  
  
Elsa was on her feet, dressed with a traditional purple gown with Nordic flower patterned braces, like the ones her mother used to wear when she was alive, her platinum braid shining over her shoulder.  
  
"Ready for what?" the Admiral asked busy, picking up some maps and papers. He was clothed in his naval attire: long sleeved shirt, dark colored vest, breeches, boots and cravat. The jacket was hanging on the back of his chair.  
  
The Queen remained silent, waiting for him to raise his head. When he looked at her it dawned on him.  
  
"Oh..." He stopped what he was doing. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes." She nodded with a smile, moving a little closer to him. She left enough distance between them in case someone entered the room. She didn't freeze the lock of the door this time, following the advice he had given her. "I'm ready to know everything there is to know about each other," she confessed blushing.  
  
If that wasn't a declaration of intentions, then he didn't know what would be. The Admiral dropped the papers and went to sit on the top front of his desk, one leg bended, his hands on the knee.  
  
"How do you want to do it?"  
  
Elsa raised an eyebrow.  
  
"I thought you were going to be in charge of that," she replied confused.  
  
He gave a hearty laugh.  
  
"No, I meant how do you want to go about it. Where do you want it to happen? When?" He wasn't sure how they were going to accomplish it, at least not inside the castle, as it was completely surrounded by water and it was pretty much impossible to go in or out without being noticed. But he waited, knowing her Ice Queen always had an ace up her sleeve.  
  
"My bedroom," she answered quickly, surprising him. She tried to act calmed, but inside her heart nervously pulsed with anticipation by the proposal. "There is a secret passage that connects the mainland with the castle, going underneath the water. It can get you very close to it. Very few people know about it. I'll tell you how to get there. As for when, how about tonight?"  
  
"Tonight?" he repeated astonished. Suddenly, it seemed harder to swallow.  
  
"Yes, why? You already have something planned?"  
  
"No... It’s just that I thought you were going to say in a couple of days or perhaps to leave it until after my travel to Corona," he explained.  
  
The notion that he was leaving soon for more than a fortnight had actually helped her to make up her mind.  
  
"I said I was ready," she insisted.  
  
"All right. Tonight then," he agreed, not objecting.  
  
"I'll have to tell Gerda, so she controls the servants," she informed him, referring to the housekeeper of the castle. "I don't want to take risks. I need someone on my side if I'm going to do this and I trust her."  
  
"That's fine, I understand," the Admiral tranquilized her.  
  
"Do you want me to explain to you how to get to my room?"  
  
"Yes, please."  
  
Both of them sat in front of the refined wooden desk, facing the painting that hung on the wall, a portrait of Admiral Rochport, died in combat more than a year earlier and predecessor of Admiral Westergard. Elsa picked up a blank paper and a steel writing pen. She sank the tip in the ink and started drawing the ground floor outline of the castle and of the fjord, marking the walls and the points of entrance.  
  
"It may take you some time today to get there, but in normal circumstances it is about ten to fifteen minutes to walk from the coast to the underground level of the castle."  
  
"I don’t mind how much it takes me, as long as it leads me to you," he said looking at her profile, his elbow resting on the table and the head on his hand. Elsa smiled and continued.  
  
"You'll have to go to this point," she made an 'X' on the shore, far away from the port and the center of town "and cross the east entrance of the wall. Once you're out, keep going straight, following the water, until there is a very large boulder rock. You won't miss it." She kept drawing the path. "Go behind it and enter the forest that is there. Walk until you find the face of the hill. There will be a lot of tall bushes, all covered in snow now. Around ten steps to your left will be the entrance, hidden by thicket. It’s easy not to notice it unless you’re looking for it."  
  
"Do you think I'll recognize the place during the night?"  
  
"You will. I left this hanging on the trunk of the tree that is right in front of it." Using her powers, she created with her hand a thick fist-sized ice snowflake. She showed it to him. "It’ll only melt when _you_ touch it." Hans tried to take it from her hand, but the snowflake instantly started to disappear into the air.  
  
"I’m not going to ask how you’re able to do that," he murmured with awe, not because of the snowflake per se, but because of the clever magic behind it.  
  
"I know a lot more of my gift now than I did twenty years ago." Because yes, after many years, she finally saw it as a gift and not a curse.  
  
"That I can see." His eyes were enchanted by her. "When did you leave it there? The snowflake."  
  
"Almost a week ago." The Admiral’s red brows went up. The Queen left the pen on the paper and crossed her forearms on the table. "I’ve been thinking of this for the last two weeks, trying to figure out the most discreet way to do it. I thought at first that we could maybe pay a room somewhere in town, but it’s too risky, as someone would probably recognize us. And in reality I don’t like that option very much. I prefer it to happen in my bedroom, a place I know and in which I feel comfortable."  
  
"I agree with that."  
  
"Once I remembered the secret passage, I knew that would be our solution."  
  
The Admiral wondered what alternative would they have found if the secret alley didn’t exit, but as it wasn’t the case he didn’t waste time on it.  
  
"You know, there is also a secret passage in the palace of the Southern Isles. When I was a kid I tried to find it a thousand times, but I never did and my brothers never told me. Even today, I still don’t know where it is. Not that it matters anymore…"  
  
Elsa took one of his hands in hers, and caressed it with her thumbs, ignoring for a moment that the door of the cabin could open at any time. She knew of the difficult childhood he had lived with his older brothers. It hurt her inside when she thought of it because she knew that that time of his life had shaped him growing up, influenced him to the point of making him the man he was when he attended her coronation. Her own childhood hadn’t been easy, no doubt, but at least she had been loved.  
  
"Well, now you’re going to know the path to the heart of my castle," she said gently.  
  
"I’m only interested in knowing the path to your heart." Roses bloomed in her cheeks with his words. She wasn’t sure he hadn’t already found out.  
  
The Admiral squeezed her hand once and released it, not wanting to take chances in being caught. "How do you know the snowflake hasn’t melted? It’s been sunny these past few days."  
  
"Because I know the strength of my magic and because we are in winter, my favorite season."  
  
"When was this secret passage built? Do you know?"  
  
"I think like two or three centuries ago… My great great great grandfather built it so my family had an escape route in case of an attack or of a fire. But it’s barely been used. I think it was like three years ago that I went down there to see in what condition it was in. It is a very resilient passage, you’ll see."  
  
"Who knows of it?" the Admiral wanted to know.  
  
"Gerda, Kai and Anna… Probably Kristoff too, as I’m sure she’s told him, just in case an emergency occurs."  
  
"Good, the less the better, because this is a very delicate and valuable piece of information. In the wrong hands it can cause us a big problem."  
  
"But it’s not in the wrong hands and we’ve never had a problem," pronounced Elsa with conviction.  
  
The Admiral let it be, though in his mind he was already worried by the existence of such a passage that could let a person walk right into the castle and kill the Queen herself. "Tell me what do I do when I find the entrance."  
  
"First of all, be careful with your head when you go in, the space is small. There’ll be a steep stair going down. When you reach the bottom grab the oil lamp I’ll tell Gerda to leave there for you and just walk straight into the tunnel. It won’t be until you reach a staircase going up that you’ll know you’re under the castle," she explained to him. "Don’t use those, turn to your left and walk until you’ve left behind two stairs more. The third one is the one you should use. If you go up the wrong one you’ll be heading into the dungeons, a place I don’t think you want to refresh in your memory," she quipped with a witty look. Oh yes, he had been incarcerated a few days in a cell before being sent to the Southern Isles after his failed attempt of making Arendelle his.    
  
"Keep joking. I’ll get my payback tonight," warned the Admiral with a very self-assured stance.  
  
Elsa’s smile diminished on her lips, somewhat understanding what he meant and knowing he had the advantage being the experienced one. She told him of the turns and hidden hallways he would have to follow, signaling everything on the paper. "These stairs," she finally said touching a specific point on the drawn instructions, "will lead you directly to the northern corridor of the castle’s second floor. The door of my room is just about three _rods_ from where you’ll be coming out, to the left."  
  
"All right, I think I’ll manage." Hans took the paper in his hands and studied the little map. "At what time do you want me there?"  
  
"Well, I guess the later the better, so everyone is sleeping."  
  
"Around ten?" he suggested.  
  
"Yes, that’s fine. Do you need to be up at a certain hour?" she asked, mentally going over the list she had made earlier that morning.  
  
"Yes, I do. At five," the Admiral informed her leaving the paper on the desk.  
  
"So early? Why?"  
  
"Because I’m training all the cadets at six."  
  
A surprised expression came onto her face. "I thought the captains took care of that…"  
  
"And they do, but this is a surprise practice, the recruits are not expecting me. I do it from time to time, to see how they are doing and to verify the reports I get are accurate. Ultimately, they will be Arendelle’s future navy, and I need to have them well prepared and trained."  
  
The Queen smiled gratefully to him, but at the same time her shoulders slumped slightly.  
  
"Do you prefer to postpone this to another day?" she offered. "It doesn’t have to be tonight."  
  
"Are you kidding? No. I wouldn’t miss tonight for anything, especially not for a bunch of beginners" he emphasized. "Besides, the look on their faces when they see me appear is reward enough for having to wake up so early. They get really nervous…"  
  
"I wonder why." Through his nephew, Elsa knew what kind of instructor Hans was. Tough, demanding, firm, but fair and understanding when he needed to be. "I’ll tell Gerda then."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Should I have something to drink and eat in my bedroom, in case we get hungry?" Another check on the mental list.  
  
"You can, but I only need you there. You’ll be the one I’ll want to eat and drink tonight," he answered with a grin.  
  
"Hans!" she reprimanded him in a low tone.  
  
"What? It’s the truth. Get accustomed to it." Hans saw her shook her head, as if he was hopeless and couldn’t be fixed. And she was right, sexually he couldn’t. "You are aware there won't be a turning point if we do this, right?" he said a little more serious. "Everything will change, it'll get very personal, more than it already is."  
  
"Yes, I know," she replied.  
  
"It might blur the lines we work under and that could be a risk."  
  
"What do you mean?" Her eyes hardened for a second.  
  
"This will strengthen our bond, or at least I hope it does," he confessed, "but it will be as much for the good as for the bad. We'll have to find a way to keep apart our personal life from our professional one."  
  
"Are you worried we won't be able to?"  
  
"No, but we might need to work on it at some point in the future. After all, we do like to argue." He couldn’t count the times they had wrangled in the last two years, whether in public or in private.  
  
Elsa snorted, still perfectly seated on the padded chair. "Be more specific, you are the one who likes to argue with me."  
  
"Someone needs to challenge your ideas from time to time and I just happen to be that person. Besides, you confront me head on every single time, which makes me think you enjoy it."  
  
"Well, I'm not going to let you bully me into your views. I am the one ruling this kingdom, not you." Her stare was unyielding and her chin slightly up.  
  
"I'm well aware of that," he acknowledged without problem. However, the smirk and the look on his face sent her a different message: _‘Yes, you may be the one in command but both of us know how much you need me.’_  
  
"And for your information, you're a pain in the neck most of the time."  
  
Hans’ smile broadened. "I know, but you like that about me."  
  
The Queen tried to hold her serious expression, but didn’t succeed, finally grinning to him. The Admiral thought of how much he liked to see her smile that way.  
  
"I think we make a good team and that we'll be able to handle whatever comes our way," she said positively. "We've been through a lot already and here we are."  
  
"That's right," he agreed.  
  
A couple of knocks on the door interrupted their conversation. They both turned to look at Officer Iversen, who appeared behind the door.  
  
"Admiral, Mr. Dahlberg is here to see you," the young man apprised.  
  
"Right. Please tell him that I'll me meet him in a moment."  
  
"Yes, Sir," he answered before disappearing.  
  
Elsa stood up and he imitated her.  
  
"I’ll leave, so you can keep working." She reached the door, his figure behind her. "I’ll see you tonight then?" she asked in a whisper facing him.  
  
"Yes, I'll be there," he said nodding, "I’ll follow the instructions."  
  
"Okay." The need to kiss and to touch was there, powerful, latent, but they both restrained, their eyes doing all the talking.  
  
The Admiral opened the door and the Queen walked swiftly outside.  
  
***  
  
Later that evening in her bedroom, after changing into her ice blue dress, Elsa called for her housekeeper, a brunette plump woman dressed in prim dark green clothes who had served three generations of her family.  
  
"Your Majesty, you wanted to see me?" the old lady asked once inside.  
  
"Yes, Gerda. Please come in, I have something to tell you" replied the Queen standing up from her tripartite mirror vanity near the windows and the dressing screen, where she had been reviewing her personal correspondence. Silence suddenly invaded the space, as the servant patiently waited.  
  
"Your Majesty?" Gerda called, not understanding her sovereign’s fidgety hands and muted attitude.  
  
"I'm sorry. I really don't know how to say this…" Elsa started pacing the floor. "I don't want you to judge me. I know you've known me my whole life."  
  
"Please, Your Majesty, you do not have anything to worry about. I will not judge you. You can speak freely to me."  
  
"All right," she said coming to a stop and looking at the housekeeper with as much determination as she could muster. "Admiral Westergard is going to spend the night here."  
  
A slight look of astoundment crossed the old woman’s face, but she recovered quickly nonetheless. It wasn’t a secret the Queen and the Admiral had gotten along very well for some time. There had been rumors since after the war against Weselton that implied they had something more than a cordial and healthy friendship, but no one had ever been able to prove it. Gerda remembered there had even been a time when both the Queen’s nephew and Kai had tried to catch them in a compromising situation, bumping into her office an unexpected hours, being extra watchful at official events, but they never came up with anything. They were just plain friends.  
  
But now, the housekeeper had real confirmation that there was more than what they let on in public. Even if in a way it seemed reprehensible what they were going to do, she couldn’t stop herself from feeling happy for her monarch, who had done so much for Arendelle and her people, sacrificing in many occasions her own personal life. "Very well, Your Majesty," she said with a small inclination of her head, accepting the good news.  
  
"I need of your discretion, so no one finds out. He's going to use the secret passage that connects the mainland with the castle, so please leave a lamp for him at the other end. Have this corridor empty too, so no one bumps into him. I don't even want Anja to attend me tonight or tomorrow morning," ordered the Queen referring to her sixteen-year-old handmaiden, "I don’t know if I can trust her with this. Not yet, at least."  
  
"I understand, Your Majesty. I’ll take care of this personally."  
  
"Thank you," Elsa said relieved.  
  
"I think Mr. Nilsen should also be informed, as he controls the male part of the staff," Gerda suggested. "He will not reveal a thing."  
  
"You’re right, and I know he won’t. You both have always exceeded in your work for my family and the kingdom and that’s why my parents were so fond of you."  
  
"Thank you very much, Your Majesty," the royal head of the house bowed appreciating the compliment.  
  
"Please do tell him, and also, could you bring later, around nine thirty, something to drink and a bite to eat? Nothing heavy," the Queen asked still touching her hands nervously.  
  
"Of course, my lady. Will you be drinking wine?"  
  
"No. I’ll need something stronger." The servant tried to suppress her smile. "Bring the _Akevitt_ from my private collection, I know the Admiral likes it, and some brandy too."  
  
"As you wish, Your Majesty. Anything else?"  
  
"Yes. Please wake us up at five. I know it’s very early, but Hans… I mean, the Admiral," the Queen corrected rapidly, "needs to be up at that time."  
  
"Do not worry, five it is then," she said very well mannered.  
  
"Thank you very much, Gerda. I really appreciate you helping me out with this," Elsa spoke sincerely getting closer to her servant.  
  
The housekeeper looked at her fondly. She had seen this strong, intelligent and beautiful woman grow from the withdrawn, scared little girl she had been. King Agdar and Queen Idun came to her mind. They would be so proud of her, of what she had become and achieved.  
  
"It is the least I can do, Your Majesty, you’ve always been very good to all of us. It is only fair that you have your moment too," she voiced with a small smile, causing Elsa to blush. She was tempted to ask the Queen if she needed any advice for the night ahead, like the explanation given to a newly married before her wedding night. But she refrained, not wanting to make her uncomfortable or to step out of her boundaries. Whether she knew what was coming or not, she was sure the Admiral was competent enough to show and guide her. "If that’s all, my lady, I’ll return to my duties."  
  
"Yes, of course," Elsa said nodding. "Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N (updated July 2016):
> 
> i. This story takes place around the the 1840s. Elsa and Hans are 38 and 40 years old respectively.  
> ii. 3 rods can be equivalent to around 12-15 meters (in Norway the metric system wasn’t introduced until the 1880s).  
> iii. Akevitt is an alcoholic drink that is mainly produced in the Scandinavian region since several centuries ago.  
> iv. Neruda’s quote is from the Poem XIV of ‘20 Love Poems and a Song of Despair’. Paz’s poem is from his work ‘Freedom under Parole’.


	2. Chapter 2

Elsa watched the table clock on top of the drawer for the third time that night. It already marked past half eleven. She had arrived to her chamber more than two hours earlier in order to be there for when her housekeeper brought the small snack, which now stood untouched on top of the marble surfaced Eastlake coffee table that sat in front of the cream canapé sofa. She sighed, feeling disappointed. _Maybe he’s changed his mind…_ , she thought with a sinking heart.  
  
At first his delay seemed natural, as he had to follow the indications she had given him. She tried to pass the time doing things to placate the nerves that invaded her. She made sure her room and water closet were neat and organized, checked the fire was alive in the hearth, revised her personal correspondence seated at her vanity, picked the clothes she was going to wear the following day from the adjacent dressing room. But as time wore on, other thoughts entered her mind. Maybe he had gotten lost or something had kept him entertained. She sat on her bed, against the headboard, and took the book from the bedside table to read, not having much else to do.  
  
As the minutes kept ticking away, however, it all sadly seemed to start making sense. She served herself a glass of the strong _Akevitt_ to drawn the sensation of defeat. Hans was a very punctual and skilled man. He wouldn’t get lost and it only took as much as half an hour to get from the mainland to her chamber. For some reason, he was not going to come and she simply had to accept it.  
  
Resigned, five minutes before midnight, she decided to go to bed. Getting a clean nightgown from the drawer and pouring herself another glass of the liqueur, she only regretted how much it had taken from her to take that important step during the last two weeks, imagining how it would be to feel his hands on her skin, getting used to the idea of showing him her body, knowing she was going to do something that was immoral but obviating it for the love she felt for him. It had definitely been a waste of time. Perhaps losing one’s virtue wasn’t as important as she thought, even if he had made it look like it.  
  
Leaving the silky garment on the bedspread and the crystal goblet on the nightstand, she removed her crystal shoes on the carpet and opened the bed, moving the cover and the sheets on the side she used to sleep. Then, she went to turn off the light from the oil lamps in the entrance and the candelabra that were on her dressing and coffee tables. It was while blowing the second one that she heard two knocks on the door. Paralyzed, her gaze flew directly to it, her heart thundering up to her throat. Another three knocks were heard, more insistent this time. Elsa went barefoot to the door and opened it slowly. There he was, in the darkness of the hallway, dressed in his coat and rubbing his hands due to the cold. The Queen stared at him as if he was an apparition.  
  
"Are you going to let me in or to kick me out for being so late?" he asked with an expectant smile.  
  
Elsa realized her bad manners and rushed to open the door more. "Yes, of course. Please, come in."  
  
Hans crossed the threshold, taking his long coat off. "I'm sorry. I was held up by some matters that have to be settled before the trip to Corona," he explained. "And then, right when I was going to leave, there was a problem at my mother's bar." _The Rose Pub_ , managed by his adoptive parent, Belle, and Mr. Potts’ family.  
  
Elsa felt guilty for doubting him which, combined with how she was feeling a few minutes earlier and the nerves that were coming back to appear again on stage, only helped to make her feel more gloomy.  
  
"It's okay. You don't have to apologize," she said grabbing his coat to leave it on the sofa, not looking at him.  
  
The Admiral studied the room, noticing the smell of the put out candles, the opened bed, the nightgown... and how Elsa went to get her ice heels from the carpet to put them somewhere else, avoiding him. "You were already going to sleep?" He started to unbutton his dark blue jacket laced with gold buttons.  
  
"Well, I didn't have much else to do..." she replied in a flat tone. Her next stop was her night stand where, giving her back to him, she took the glass and drank a long swallow.  
  
Hans left his jacket on top of his coat, remaining in his white shirt and dark colored vest, and walked the distance to where Elsa was. He embraced her from behind around the waist, his head falling in the sweet nook of her bare neck.  
  
"I see you've started without me." He took the glass from her and drank himself. "Oh, and it's the one I like," he praised. His lips moved closer to her ear. "What's the matter? Are you mad because it took me too long to come?"  
  
Elsa exhaled, resting herself against him, her arms going on top of his.  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't know what to think..." she confessed with her eyes closed. "I thought you had changed your mind. I mean, you've already done this before. Why would it be important for you? Why do it with the frigid Ice Queen?" She knew the alcohol was partly talking for her, clouding her mood.  
  
"Frigid?" he repeated with surprise. "Where did you get that from?" He took another sip, finishing the content and leaving the cup on the side table.  
  
"I've heard the rumors. That's what people think of me..." she voiced disheartened.  
  
"And you care? What do they know?" The Admiral kissed the soft skin of her neck.  
  
"They know I haven’t let a man near my bed in more than twenty years and they believe I’m a cold being because of my powers."  
  
"I’m sure they would have preferred a floozy queen jumping from one royal bed to another," he spoke ironically.  
  
Elsa nailed her elbow hard into his ribs and he grunted. "Watch your mouth," she warned. The Admiral laughed, his chest rumbling behind her.  
  
"Yes, Your Majesty." The playfulness was evident in his voice. "My point is you shouldn’t let that bother you, you're above all that."  
  
"I know, but sometimes it does… I’m human after all."  
  
Hans knew he had been the cause of that small spark of insecurity in herself. He arriving late had given her the erroneous impression that she wasn’t worth it, that she didn’t deserve the attention and the love he so desperately wanted to give her. He lowered his tone so she knew he was being serious.  
  
"Rest assured, Elsa. I’ll prove to you tonight how much of a warm and sexual being you are, with your cold powers and all." The Queen, with her eyes on the fire at the other side of the canopied bed, showed a small smile. "And for your information, this is important for me because _you_ are important to me, regardless of if I’ve done this before or not. I’m really sorry I got here lat-."  
  
"Shhhh…" Elsa turned around in his arms and put her fingers on his mouth, stopping him, her blue eyes connecting with his. "I told you you didn’t have to apologize. I was the one to jump to conclusions. Let’s leave it at that." She saw him nod and felt his hot breath on her fingertips. "Did you find your way here without problems?" she asked dropping her hand to rest it on his chest.  
  
"Yes, you explained everything very well. I found your snowflake."  
  
"Did it melt?" She smoothed the fabric of his vest.  
  
"Yes, it did," he answered holding her tightly, kissing her once on the lips.  
  
"What did you think of the passage?" she asked interested in his opinion, putting his arms around his neck.  
  
"It is very well built and as you said, it is resilient. But I don’t like how easy it is to get in. Yes, the entrance is hard to spot and very well hidden and that’s fine with me. But if someone ever bumps into it and goes down, he or she won’t find any impediment to keep going further. There’s not a door or bars blocking the tunnel, it’s simply open, and that is dangerous," he reasoned. "I’m surprised your father didn’t do anything about it."  
  
"He actually wanted to," she informed him with her gaze anchored at his cravat. "I found his notes a long time ago. It took him years to find the original drawings of the passage, which were very well hidden inside the castle. He didn’t want to drill or break the stone down there before knowing of its structure first, to avoid leaks or the flooding of the tunnel. He did make plans to close it but died before he could carry them out. By the time I found out about his intentions I had more important things to worry about. The years went by and nothing happened, and ultimately, I knew I would be here to protect everyone and stop whatever threat that could come through the passage, which hasn’t occurred."  
  
"You’re not invincible, Elsa," Hans told her gravely.    
  
"I know, but I’m a tougher opponent than most," she said stating a fact.    
  
"I don’t want to reopen old wounds, but I almost defeated you once." He could see the hurt flashing through her eyes like a lightning and he felt bad for it. Still, he needed to make her understand the seriousness of the situation.  
  
"That was a low blow, Hans. I’m not twenty-one anymore." Her lips became a thin line.  
  
"I know, darling, but that’s my point. It doesn’t matter your age, how smart you are or if you have powers or not. If given the possibility, someone might sneak up on you, outsmart you, just like I almost did. Even your father knew that that passage needs to be closed down."  
  
Elsa resisted, shaking her head. "But no one has ever found its entrance, no one knows it exists."  
  
"So what? That’s a shallow argument and you know it. The fact that no one hasn’t found it in all this time doesn’t mean someone will in the future," he refuted. He tried to make eye contact with her, but she kept glancing downwards.  
  
"Putting a door down there means getting someone to do it, which also means that person will know about the secret passage." Yes, they indeed liked to argue.  
  
"Not necessarily, if we make up a different story. You know I’m very convincing."  
  
Elsa remained silent for several seconds, raising her head to look at his chiseled features and caress one of his well trimmed sideburns. Years had made him age like fine wine, giving him nuances and a consistency that weren’t there when she first met him. His skin wore the signs of all the years spent at sea and outdoors and his intense eyes already borne some small wrinkles. But neither of that diminish in the least bit any of his attractiveness. She only had to remember the attention he awakened in the opposite sex to be sure of it.  
  
"You only know about the passage because I told you," she recalled him, not relenting.  
  
"Yes, and now that I know I want to secure it." He didn’t voice it out loud, but if he was about to start using the passageway more often, that in itself was only another opportunity for someone tailing him to find out. He would have to be extra careful. "It is an unnecessary risk to have that tunnel open, Elsa. Maybe you’re right and no one will ever find it, but that is not what worries me. What worries me is that slight chance of someone actually finding out and for that person to have bad intentions against the crown or Arendelle." Hans pulled from the family string, knowing he would win her over with it. "Think of your sister, of your nephews and nieces, of your servants. It’s for their sake and yours, not for mine."  
  
Elsa sighed, knowing he was right.  
  
"I can make an ice door in the meantime if it will give you peace of mind, while winter lasts," she offered.  
  
"Yes, that would be good." He pressed further. "I would like to see the drawings of the passage and your father’s notes so I can give it a deeper thought and see how we can do this without arousing suspicion. Is it all right with you?"  
  
"Yes, it’s fine,” she replied considering the matter settled. She turned a little in his embrace and grabbed the empty glass. "Do you want some more?"  
  
"Sure, but let’s share" he accepted, letting his arms go off of her. "How much have you drank already?" He saw her walk to the coffee table.  
  
"Two glasses, why? You worried I might fall asleep too soon?" She opened the bottle.  
  
"Not really. I’ll keep you wide awake when I want to," said Hans confidently walking around the spacious bedroom with his hands on his back, taking everything in. "It’s actually good that you’ve drank some, to relax, but I don’t want the alcohol to numb you… You have a nice room," he commented changing topics, seeing the impeccable furniture, the flower decorated dark wardrobe, the feminine dressing table, the mirrors and paintings hanging on the walls, the large hearth.  
  
Elsa observed him studying her things, a feeling of excitement invading her for having him in her private quarters. She poured the liquor on the glass. "Thank you."  
  
He ended up on the side of the tall triangular shaped rhomboid window, close to the fireplace, appreciating the moonlit landscape. "And the view is magnificent from here."  
  
"You like it?" She appeared by his side offering him the now refilled goblet. They both contemplated the nocturnal beauty of Arendelle, the silver water of the fjord undulating with the cold winds of the season.  
  
"Yeah, it’s breathtaking." But instead of looking out he stared at her. Elsa felt very self-conscious, touching the end of her blonde braid. Hans smiled, taking a sip of the _Akevitt_ he so much liked. "Has this always been your chamber?"  
  
"Yes, pretty much." She hesitated. "Well, when I was little I used to share a room with Anna, the one that is around the corner in the hallway, until… until I accidentally hurt her. Our parents separated us after that."  
  
"Does Anna still use hers?"  
  
"No, she moved when she married. She and Kristoff sleep in the other wing of the castle, close to their children," she explained. "This corridor is mostly empty save for when we have guests."  
  
"How did it happen, you hurting Anna involuntarily? How old were you?" He drank again and then left the cup on top of the sitting area that was in front of the window.  
  
"Haven’t you already heard the story? It’s no secret anymore why we closed the gates back then."  
  
"Not from the original source." He got close to her and grabbed her hands to put them on his neck. "Start undressing me," he asked politely.  
  
Elsa threw him a cautious look.  
  
"I believe you’re able to do both things at the same time," he said, his hands sneaking to her waist.  
  
The Queen inhaled and gave in, starting to untie his maroon cravat, which was at her eye level.  
  
"I was eight and Anna was five," Elsa started. "She came to wake me up one morning to play. I wanted to continue sleeping, so I pushed her off. But she convinced me when she asked if I wanted to build a snowman." The bow of the silky fabric came undone and she pulled to get it off his neck. "We both went downstairs to the throne room and she asked me to do my magic, and so I did." Holding the cravat in one hand, her fingers lowered to the first button of his vest. "I covered the entire floor with ice and snow and we made the snowman. That’s how Olaf was initially created, even if he wasn’t alive as he is now."  
  
"I see." His eyes were on her, interested, steady.  
  
"I built slides of snow and we played, ice-skated, laughed and had a lot of fun, until Anna jumped from one small mountain of snow into the air and I had to fill the space where she had to land. I made one column of snow after another, and she kept jumping higher and faster every time, until I slipped and fell on the floor. I tried to create the next column, as she was still in the air, but instead of that I hit her in the head with my powers." She reached the last two buttons of the garment, completely absorbed in her past. "She fell to the ground unconscious. I ran to her and held her in my arms. A white strand appeared on her hair and I was so worried and scared that I froze the whole room inadvertently. That’s when my parents appeared and took us to see the trolls in the Valley of the Living Rock." She looked at him when the vest was unbuttoned.  
  
"Take it off," he said answering her unspoken question.  
  
Elsa nodded and continued talking.  
  
"Grand Pabbie was able to cure Anna, preserving her memories, though he changed them, making her forget that I had powers." She pushed the vest over his shoulders and let it slide down his arms. "The rest I think you know. My father decided to close the gates, reduce the staff and limit my contact with other people until I learn to control my powers," she finished holding the well cut and made item.  
  
"And look if you did."  
  
Elsa had learned a great deal of her ice and cold abilities in all those years. She knew how to make iceworks to celebrate special occasions; had created the Marshmallow Brigade, giant creations that served as home guard in the mountains surrounding Arendelle; knew how to maneuver her powers in order to affect the weather and knew how to create big icebergs underwater, which were key during the sea battles against the Weselton fleet and the privateers. She was able to encapsulate the castle and its periphery into an ice made dome when Arendelle experienced one of its worst winters (said dome later came to be known as _‘Queen Elsa’s Fishbowl’_ ), and built enormous walls of ice, thick and tall, to protect her very own kingdom from the enemy and to trap the city of Weselton when the war was at its most delicate point. And if there was any doubt of what she was capable of, her beautiful and pristine Ice Palace still remained at the top of the North Mountain as a reminder of why she was still called The Snow Queen.  
  
Hans took the vest and the cravat from her hands and left them on one side of the glass, next to the windowpane.  
  
"Yes, but I almost paid too high a price for it," she voiced saddened by the memory.  
  
The Admiral knew she meant her own life at his own hands. The stings of regret prickled at his heart.  
  
"I know and I'm sorry for the role I played in all of it." He stood again in front of her and brought her hands to the neck of his shirt.  
  
Elsa graced his jaw. "You already apologized," she said compassionate remembering under what difficult circumstances he had asked for her forgiveness, "and besides, I had my share of blame in everything that happened." After all, she had been the one to set off the eternal winter in the first place. "Years give you time to put everything in perspective."  
  
"I couldn’t agree more."  
  
"But all of that is in the past now," she finalized undoing the first button, wanting to leave the bad memories behind, mainly that night.  
  
A short silence enveloped them as Hans kept his chin high in order to give her space to work with her fingers. The Queen went slower this time, due to the smaller size of the buttons and the increasing shaking of her hands as the Admiral's chest was being revealed. Halfway through the shirt, the trembling was so evident that the tiny button resisted to her without making any effort.  
  
"These ones are trickier, huh?" he said with a small smile, adoring the way she was trying. He took her hands in his and rubbed the back of them with his thumbs.  
  
"I'm nervous..." she confessed with a heavy sight. For some reason, seeing the beginning of his chest was suddenly making all that very real.  
  
"I know and it's normal." He gave a small squeeze to her hands. "I'm a bit nervous myself."  
  
"You are?" She raised her eyebrows. "You seem very composed."  
  
"Feel for yourself." Hans placed her hand under his shirt, over his heart.  
  
Elsa felt his warm skin under her palm, his strong and fast-paced heartbeats drilling with force against the flesh.  
  
"I've never done this feeling this way," he declared with an open look. "So in a way, this is a first time for me too."  
  
"What way?" she breathed, her own heart thumping like a drum.  
  
"In love," he replied stepping closer to her, reducing the space between them. "Everything centuplicates when I'm with you, Elsa. When you touch me I feel how it reverberates through my whole body; when you kiss me my heart hammers in my chest disproportionately, as if it were to explode, like cannon fire." Their faces were closing in the distance, bending like meadow flowers in the sunset. "Listening to your voice excites and distracts me at the same time, making me lose concentration. And sometimes, the way you look at me undos me, and I only want to drag you somewhere where we can be alone so I can make love to you endlessly."  
  
She stood on tiptoes and kissed him, all of her tingling, raptured by the deepness of his words and the intensity of his gaze. "I feel the same, Hans," she whispered in a gap, "I feel the same way."  
  
As they kissed, breathing heavily, their fingers met unexpectedly at the rebel button. "You do it," he said, and so Elsa kept opening the shirt, more confident and urgently this time, getting it out of his pants, reaching the end of it fast. "The cuffs," he pointed, raising them for her.  
  
She broke the kiss and focused her attention on the buttons at his wrists. When that was done, she pushed the fabric backwards and exposed his torso to the light of the hearth, the shirt falling to the ground. It wasn’t the first time she saw his naked body, as there had been an incident on one trip to the Southern Isles where she almost saw more than she wanted to, but it was the first time she saw a man’s body so close. Her eyes examined him, taking in the golden skin color, the puddle of freckles on his shoulders, the russet hair on the pectorals that narrowed down the center of his abdominals, the well formed muscles that gave him that lean figure, and the scars, she specially examined the white and rosy scars. The first one she touched with her fingers was one located below his right shoulder, close to the armpit.  
  
"You were shot…" she said feeling the circular relief. Discretely, she tried to find the other two bullet cicatrices she knew he had, for according to her previous Admiral’s diary entries he had been shot thrice. She found another one on his arm. Only one was missing.  
  
"Yes, many years ago, assaulting a ship in unprotected waters." That told her it has been during his years as a pirate, after his own brother, king of the Southern Isles, disowned and threw him out of his country, removing his citizenship.  
  
Her hand lowered diagonally to the two parallel scars on his left side abdomen. "Stabbed twice by a mercenary," he explained as Elsa followed them with the pads of her fingers.  
  
There were other smaller marks on his chest, like petite white moths hiding in the autumn forest of his hair. But one scar in particular, twisted and ugly, on the lateral of his torso and under his left arm, stood out enough for her to follow it to his back. There she found a sea of white sharks and red jellyfish swimming over abused skin.  
  
"Are these from...?" she started, touching them carefully, as if that could still hurt him.  
  
"Yes, the slaver."  
  
He had only been around three months on that damned ship, but after reading Admiral Rochport's journal she knew that the psychological and physical effects were timeless, specially regarding what he had witnessed being done to the already passed away little Isabel, a girl of only ten years of age.  
  
"Although some of them are from Reidar too," he cut through her thoughts.  
  
"It's inconceivable to me how a brother can do this." Her hands and eyesight were gradually getting accustomed to this wrecked part of his body.  
  
"Sometimes you have the enemy at home... He's always been one of the cruellest ones," he uttered. "I would love to see his face right now though, he would die of envy."  
  
"I bet he would." Elsa comprehended the meaning behind his last phrase. On that trip to the Southern Isles they had to take upon in order to get to Weselton and win the war, he had told her of his brother's singular sexual appetites, untouched women between them. After the Great Thaw, when Hans was sent back to his country, Reidar had unloaded his fury on him for ruining his chance of courting and taking her, the unmarried and unreachable Snow Queen. He almost beat him to death.  
  
She finally focused her attention on the tattoo that graced his right scapula, three words written in Latin: _AUDENTES FORTUNA IUVAT_. She smiled, remembering the first time she had seen it, one morning during that trip where they had been fishing breakfast together. "Fortune favors the bold," she read out loud, gracing the capital letters with the index finger.  
  
"That's right," he said. "I don’t think I would be alive if it wasn’t true."  
  
The Queen couldn’t agree more. He had won two wars for her, for Arendelle, by risking his own life both times, first against Gormund and then against Weselton. But luck had been on his side, and he had made it out in one piece. It amazed her how his courage and fearlessness, and his ability for improvisation, sometimes didn’t seem to have limits.  
  
Elsa took one step forward and pasted her body to his, circling his waist with her arms and kissing devotedly the area between his shoulder blades. The Admiral inhaled when he felt her sateen lips, an electrical current going through his spinal cord. He moved her hands from his stomach to his chest, encouraging her to pet him there. Pressing her forehead and nose against his warm back, Elsa breathed in, impregnating herself of his salty, earthy and slightly spicy, but clean smell while her fingers timidly explored the hair on the expanses of his pectorals.  
  
"I like how you smell," she confided inhaling again, thinking how easy she could get used to that drug.  
  
"It’s mutual," he replied enjoying her caresses.  
  
She felt his nipples harden under her palms, the sensation igniting a small flame inside of her. "Now what?" she asked over his skin.  
  
"You keep undressing me." He moved aside her hands. "But first, I'll take off the boots for you." He went to sit down by the window to do so. Elsa followed him, picking up the shirt from the ground. She stood by his side drinking generously from the glass they were sharing.  
  
_The pants, now comes the pants_ , she voiced edgily in her head. _God, give me strength._ She would lie if she said she wasn't curious, but the idea of finally uncovering him completely imposed on her.  
  
Leaving his shiny black boots neatly on the floor, with the stockings on top, Hans stood up barefoot.  
  
"Give me some," he asked referring to the alcohol. Elsa offered him the goblet, but he shook his head. "No, from here." He brought her close coiling an arm around her waist and driving his tongue inside her mouth. She obligingly opened up for him, letting him explore her liberally, without restrictions. "Tastes better this way," he mentioned raucously when he separated after a while, licking his own lips. Elsa was a little dazed, her swollen lips pulsing with a vibration that tied straight to her lower abdomen. He took away again the glass from her and then directed her hands to the opening of his trousers. "Last stop."  
  
If she had been nervous before, now the sensation had tripled. Hans saw her hesitate and inhale deeply, stretching the seconds to the maximum.  
  
"They're only trousers and underneath there's simply my body," he said affectionately. "I want you to familiarize yourself as much as possible with me; that's why I want you to undress me. But if it is too violent, I can do it myself."  
  
"No, it's fine. I'll do it." She undid the buttons carefully and then put her thumbs on his hips inside the waistband.  
  
The Admiral made sure she got hold of his underwear as well. "Bring everything down."  
  
She did, getting on one knee to get his feet out of the garments, in a mechanical way, avoiding at all costs looking at his most intimate parts. When she stood again, the pieces of clothing in her hands, her eyes were locked with his, scared of going anywhere else. Hans grabbed the breeches with the underpants inside and put them behind him with the rest of his clothes.  
  
"Look at me, Elsa, take a good look," he told her with confidence. Her ice blue iris fell slowly down his body, from the freckled shoulders to his wide chest and flat abs, until they settled on the auburn mane of his inner thigh. She saw his long member and testicles hanging heavily, loose and at rest.  
  
Hans saw the weird expression on her face and chuckled.  
  
"Is this the first time you see a naked man?"  
  
"Yes." Her eyes went up, her whole face and neck red like a scorching sun.  
  
"And what do you think? Do you like what you see?"  
  
"Mmm… yes, I guess, although I feel a little bit intimidated." And by the way her gaze dropped pointedly to his inner thigh, he understood what she meant.  
  
"Don't be. Before you even realize it you'll be its owner." Elsa didn’t really understand what he meant, but didn’t want to appear silly by asking. "Come here." He extended his hand. "Now it's my turn."  
  
She took his hand and approached, the ice dress glinting with the light of the fire. His hands went behind her back, under her translucent cape, searching for a way to untie or unbutton the gown, but he didn't find anything, it was seamless. "How do I...?"  
  
With the image of his naked body collapsing her mind, the Queen didn't notice his unsuccessful attempt to disrobe her.  
  
"Oh... Sorry, I normally put it on and take it off using my powers," she explained.  
  
"Logical… Nonetheless, is there a way that I can take it off you, at least tonight? Would you give me that pleasure?"  
  
"Of course," she said nodding. From her fingertips magic flowed to her dress, transforming certain parts of it. "Now you can. You have to remove the cape first, it's buttoned to the interior of the bodice." She showed him bending the upper edge of the ice blue corset on the side of her breast, exposing the little ice flat buttons that held the snowflake patterned cape in place.  
  
"Perfect, thank you." His long fingers started to untie the sparkling and magical fabric. "I've always wondered… How did you come up with the idea for this dress?"  
  
"You really want to know?" she asked skeptical.  
  
"I wouldn't be asking otherwise."  
  
"I thought men didn't care for these things."  
  
"Well, yours is not a common dress. It's made of sheer ice and it feels cool to the touch." That comment made him think of a memory. "Remember when you dressed me that one time using your powers in the Southern Isles?"  
  
Elsa laughed, the image of him taking off at full speed the ice clothes she had made for him that day vivid in her head.  
  
"Yes, it was so funny. Lieutenant Andersen and Ensign Lorens doubled up with laughter," she said referring to the two men that had escorted them in that trip.  
  
"And so did you, little sorcerer, don't deny it. You enjoyed seeing me jumping around to not die of frostbite," he said at her back, a smile on his lips, with half of the cape already loosened.  
  
"A little," she confessed mischievously. "Ahh!" she exclaimed when she felt his teeth biting on the side of her bare neck.  
  
"More than a little," Hans corrected her, placing a kiss afterwards on the skin he had marked.  
  
"It's curious because until that day I hadn't tried dressing anyone else with my powers."  
  
"I had to be the Guinea-pig, of course," said the Admiral ironically.  
  
"At least the clothes I made looked good on you," spoke the Queen trying to defend herself.  
  
"Yes, true, except for the detail that they were very similar to the clothes King Eric wears," he highlighted on purpose.  
  
Elsa bit her lower lip and looked down to the floor, thinking of the man she had been engaged to during thirteen years until he ditched her for a redhead that had previously been a mermaid. Years of correspondence by letter between them hadn’t been enough to compete with the current Queen Ariel of Tastris, who had won his heart in only three days. It disappointed her deeply when he broke the engagement, specially the way he did it, with just a cold note instead of coming personally to Arendelle. The idea that she could had felt in love with him for so much time and that she had looked forward to marrying him at some point now seemed absurd to her.  
  
"Give me a break, Hans. I didn't know any better," meaning she didn't know him that well at the time.  
  
The Admiral let it go with a small smile on his lips, not really interested in giving her a hard time about her old love.  
  
"I remember the first time I saw you in this dress," he said instead to recover the topic at hand, "I thought how..."  
  
"Inappropriate it was?" Elsa finished for him.  
  
"I was going to say modern and sensual."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Hans reached the last button that held the cape. He unbuttoned it and folded its length, leaving it later on top of his own clothes. He then grabbed Elsa's waist and turned her back to the light of the fire, so he could see better the cords of the rigid ice corset, something he was more familiarized with.  
  
"It shocked me at first, as it showed a lot more of your body than your coronation dress did, specially the legs. But I did end up liking it more than I cared to admit then. It's very pretty, different, elegant, and very you."  
  
"Thank you. I know it was a risky dress for the times we are in, maybe too suggestive," Elsa said looking at her bed, feeling his fingers working at her back. "My parents wouldn't have probably allowed it. I see the stares people throw at me when I walk into a room, specially when I'm away from Arendelle." The stares multiplied when her nephew Fredrik was at her side, him having the same hair color and similar facial features as her.  
  
"That's not only for the dress, but for the woman that wears it."  
  
The Queen smiled at the compliment, shaking her head. He for sure knew how to use his charming mouth. "But answering your question, I believe people forget that when I made this dress I thought I was going to be living alone at my Ice Palace up in the North Mountain. I was just going to be by myself, not facing anyone, so I just created it freely, adapting it to who I really thought I was," she explained, her mind flying backwards in time. "I felt like I had been constrained for a very long time with fear and self doubts. Even my clothes seemed like chains… and I just simply let it go."  
  
"Put your arms up," he asked in a low voice when the cords were loosened enough, as if he didn't want to interrupt her.  
  
Elsa did as he said, straightening her arms on top of her head, and continued talking. "Part of the result was this dress. It gives me more freedom of movement to use my powers." Hans started to pull up the corset around her torso. "The cape is under my shoulders, not on top, so I can move my arms without impediments. The same with the skirt. The opening lets me use the energy of my body in a way a normal dress wouldn't." She paused to pass the head through the garment. "There is a reasoning behind its design, whether people see it or not."  
  
The Admiral got the bodice out of her and threw it to pile of clothes next to the window.  
  
"There's reasoning behind everything you do, Elsa. That I know for sure. Leave yours arms this way," he requested when she started to bring them down, and so the Queen stayed with her hands in the direction of the ceiling. A transparent light blue tight decorated with icy glitter covered Elsa's upper body like a second skin, letting Hans see the dark moles splashing her back. It was seamed to the skirt of the dress, which meant he had to take it off from the bottom to the top.  
  
He squatted and took the hems at each side of her body, lifting them little by little, revealing her pale skin and soft curves to his eyes. His height helped him remove the gown at the tip of her fingers, flying afterwards to the mountain of clothes. He was fast to grace her hands at the top, to later descend with exquisite slowness, his palms scouting every inch of skin that fell underneath, from her forearms to her elbows, to the sides of her breasts to her waist. Elsa breathed in, a hot lashing running through her body, making her tremble by the sensation. It was the first time in her life that someone touched her that way and it felt incredible.  
  
When his hands reached her hips they ran into the last piece of clothing that covered her figure, an ahead of its time garment Hans had never seen before. The shiny bluish triangular icy fabric covered her behind with precision, adapting itself to her figure. He put his fingers inside its waistband, like she had done with him, and got on his knees to lower it to the rhythm he wanted while he watched. Her white and smooth butt appeared, making him wet his lips, imagining the thousand things he wanted to do with it. Knowing she couldn't see him, he looked at her like the rake he had been, with lust and a voracious hunger, the way he didn't like other men looking at his young grandniece Brigitta.  
  
Elsa got her feet out of the knickers and waited nervously.  
  
"Turn around," he said after a while with a deep voice, getting rid of the small cloth.  
  
Elsa did and felt her heart leap in her chest when she saw how close his face was to her most intimate part.  
  
"W-what are you doing on the floor? Stand up," she stuttered taking a step backwards, to create distance, crossing her hands to cover her pubic hair.  
  
Hans, unfazed, only got nearer on the carpet, grabbing her by the back of her thighs and making her stand in the space between his open legs, his mouth again a few fists distance of her lower abdomen.  
  
"You should be enjoying seeing me like this because I don't get on my knees for no one… except for you" he said looking up at her body appreciatively, sitting on his heels again. He had kneeled to her once before, when she had agreed to carry out his merciless plan to defeat Weselton after a very difficult and intense conversation.  
  
"Not when we are naked," she pointed out meeting his eyes.  
  
"Specially when we are, as there's nothing to hide behind and you can see me just as I am." His answer seemed to leave her speechless for its sincerity. "Let me see you, please," he asked unable to disguise his yearning, his hands going down her rear, the back of her thighs and knees, her calves, until they settled on her ankles.  
  
Elsa held her breath, not breaking the visual contact with him, feeling a heated tingling there where he touched her. Hans waited until her hands fell to her sides, finally allowing him to see her in all her splendor. He caught one small hand and kissed the back of it, like he had done in Tastris, and again, the Queen felt the surge of a light sensation in her chest, like the love she had felt after the Great Thaw.  
  
He looked at her openly, now worshiping her with his keen green eyes as if she was a goddess. "Oh boy, you're beautiful..." Elsa felt very self-conscious again and fought the need to cover herself. "I wondered what hair color you would have down here…" he said with his gaze on her inner thigh.  
  
"Why?" she asked frowning, hoping there wasn't anything weird with her.  
  
"Because I'm a man and we think of these things," he answered. "Many blonde women have darker hair here... " His fingers danced superficially over the platinum fur.  
  
"You mean those you've laid down with," Elsa specified moving her hips backwards, avoiding that explosive touch.  
  
" _Touché_ ," he said looking up to her with a guilty smile before bringing down his face to leave a trail of sweet kisses along her right thigh, going up.  
  
Elsa tensed when she saw where he was headed. "Hans..." she pleaded separating herself, making him stop. One thing was for him to look at her body and to caress it to a certain extent, and another entirely different for him to put his mouth _there_. She would have never expected him to do that and now realized, late, that she wasn't ready for it. She was too embarrassed. "Would you mind standing up?"  
  
The tone of her voice, signaling discomfort, and her imploring blue eyes were enough for him to understand, so he got on his feet. It was obvious her shyness was kicking in. No need to push her beyond what she could take, even though he would try as much as he could.  
  
Once she had him at her eye level, the Queen questioned if it had been a good idea, for his close and naked height daunted her more than she could have expected. When their eyes met, briefly and in silence, because she diverted her gaze, she felt the need to apologize. She had been the one to cause that awkward moment.  
  
"I'm sor-" she started, but was interrupted by his unanticipated kiss. She felt his arms going around her back, bringing them closer to one another physically.  
  
"What were you going to say?" he asked quietly when he let her breath, looking at her, their noses touching.  
  
"That I'm sorr-" she tried, but his lips captured hers again. This time her brain stopped working due to his deep and thorough immersions in search of her tongue and the sensation of feeling his warm skin glued to hers. Totally dazzled, she returned his embrace.  
  
"What?" he said after a good time of savoring her mouth.  
  
Disoriented for several seconds, Elsa took some time to open her eyes, but when she did she saw in his how he was acting as if nothing had happened, downplaying the issue. And that is when she comprehended and smiled widely and thankful.      
  
"Nothing," she answered finally, winning a masculine smile back.  
  
"Good." Hans held her face with one hand, caressing her cheek with his thumb. His eyes descended to a light brown spot located on the internal superior part of her right breast, close to her sternum. It was roughly the size of a gold coin and it stood out against her pearl color skin. "A birthmark?"  
  
"Yes." Elsa felt him caressing it gently with his fingertips. "My mother used to tell me that I have it because she experienced a very special and strong emotion while she was pregnant of me. Gerda, on the other hand, told me it’s because my mother had a craving for chocolate during her pregnancy, which explains its color."  
  
Hans smiled, admiring the irregular shape. "Both theories are valid, although knowing how much you like chocolate, who knows, maybe Gerda is right. Your mother clearly passed on to you that craving."  
  
"Yes, maybe..." The corners of her mouth went slightly up as she remembered how he used the knowledge that she loved chocolate to surprise her enormously after a chess game on a trip to Corona. "I have my own theory," she told him.  
  
"Really? And what does it say?" he asked interested.  
  
"That I have this birthmark for the great fear I had to overcome," said the Queen looking at her own _café-au-lait_ patch.  
  
"Keep going," he encouraged.  
  
"Up until I was able to thaw the kingdom I used to do this gesture constantly," she moved a little bit backwards, without breaking their embrace, and brought her hands clasped together to her chest, covering her breasts and the mark, "because I was scared of hurting someone with my powers."  
  
"Yes, I remember, during your coronation day, when Anna took off your glove."  
  
"Right." Elsa nodded. "This spot falls exactly under where my hands are and when I was younger I used to see a similarity between it and my special abilities. This mark, brown and out of place, was different from the rest of my body, just like the fact of having powers was, and still is, a divergence when compared to the rest of people. Somehow, it became a talisman for me during my years of isolation. It helped me think that if I was able to conceal it with my hands, I could do the same with my powers. So I used it as a technique to calm myself and to try not to feel. Whenever I thought of my birthmark, putting my hands on top, I felt more in control," she explained. "What I didn’t know is that by hiding it I was only denying a part of myself, the same way I was doing with my magical skills." She opened her hands and the chocolate colored splotch appeared again. "This mark is here to remind me that I have to accept myself, no matter how different I am." She stroked the patch tenderly with her index finger. "Over time, with effort and repetition, I was able to stop covering it and learned to love it like the rest of my body, of myself."  
  
Hans remained silent for several seconds, looking at her proudly and with more love if it was possible. He hadn't been there to see that transformation, to see her grow from a tiny egg to an enclosed caterpillar, and then to a gorgeous and free butterfly, sprouting wings to fly as high as she could. But he partly understood what she had gone through. Growing up in an environment where it was hazardous to show one's true nature, where his achievements were downplayed, and where nothing seemed enough to please his older brothers had taken many times its toll on his inner confidence. He knew what it was to doubt oneself, to ask himself if he was worth loving, to live in a cage where he had to be the worst version of himself if he wanted to survive and prove what he was capable of. It had taken him years to trust his potential, to trust himself completely, and to use it to fight for what he wanted, and it had been difficult, very difficult. That's why he knew it hadn't been easy for her to go through that phase of personal development, because if hadn't been easy for him either.  
  
"Well, now it’s going to be loved by someone else too." He lowered his head and kissed the birthmark affectionately. "I think I like this theory the best, because it reflects your inner strength and how incredible you are."  
  
Elsa felt goose bumps over her skin with his words, blushing a little. She wasn't used to being praised that way, specially by him. Just the idea that he thought her incredible made her heart do somersaults inside her chest. "Thank you." She stood on tiptoes, laying her hands on his shoulders, and kissed him long and lovingly.  
  
"Elsa," Hans finally said in between pecks, "I want to talk to you about a few things before we go any further."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N (updated July 2016):
> 
> i. Hans’ tattoo, ‘Audentes fortuna iuvat’, is a quote from the Latin poet Virgil.  
> ii. Knickers didn’t exist in the 1840s, so in this case Elsa is ahead of her time with this type of garment.


	3. Chapter 3

"Elsa," Hans finally said in between pecks, "I want to talk to you about a few things before we go any further."  
  
"Okay," one more kiss, "I'm listening."  
  
"Come, sit with me." He took her by the hand and went for the upholstered chair that was up against the wall between the window and the hearth.  
  
Elsa followed him at first, but then paused remembering something. "Wait, let me put my nightgown first," she said untying their fingers.  
  
"What? No." The Admiral stopped her, catching her small hand again.  
  
"But you've already seen me..." she voiced with a frowned expression.  
     
"And I want to keep seeing you. Isn't it obvious?" He peered at her from head to toe hungrily.  
     
"If you think it's easy for me to stand naked before you, then you're very mistaken," she informed him. "Let me go."  
     
Hans pulled from her hand. "Elsa, I understand it's not easy, but trust me, you're fine as it is. Come here." He sat first and made her sit on top of one of his thighs, facing the fire.  
     
"I'm your Queen," she protested, bringing her hands to her chest to hide her breasts.  
     
"Oh no, I'm not going to let you pull that card tonight." He put one arm around her waist to bring her closer. "We're not the Queen and the Admiral anymore, we're just Elsa and Hans from now on."  
     
She pursed her lips, her big blue eyes telling him she did not agree with that little stratagem. Still, she gave in. It was evident he would be the one leading her that night and she actually didn't feel much like resisting.  
     
"Fine, although I'll make you pay at some point."  
     
"I hope you do, but there," he pointed to the mattress with a smirk, "on the bed."  
  
She couldn't help turning red, understanding the insinuation. His vocal directness disarmed her the same way his kisses and caresses did.  
  
"Don't cover yourself," he asked softly taking her hands in his, exposing her bosom to his eyes once more. "When you are with me, treat your body like you treat your birthmark, show it to me proudly because you have nothing to be ashamed of."  
  
Elsa sighed and then nodded. "All right, I'll try," she promised, letting him keep his grip on her hands. "So... what do you want to talk to me about?"  
  
Hans cleared his throat. "Pretty simple. What do you know about sex?" he started, his back comfortably resting against the velvety back of the chair. "Have you ever experienced it in any way before? Do you know how it's done?"  
  
The Queen blushed a little more, although she didn't avoid his observing eyes. "You know I've never experienced it..." she uttered somewhat embarrassed.  
  
The Admiral decided to phrase it another way just to be sure. "Have you ever touched yourself?"  
  
She frowned. "What? What do you mean?"  
  
Hans felt how her hands tensed in his. She sounded so confused, so clueless, that he ignored the matter altogether.  
  
"Nothing, never mind," he answered quickly. "Okay, so you've never done it then."  
  
Elsa looked at him intrigued, her mind still trying to figure out what he had meant by that question. "No, but I know how it works. Anna explained it to me a long time ago."  
  
"I guess I expected as much."  
  
Elsa chuckled, remembering the day Anna had told her. "She was actually very graphical about it, using her hands."  
  
"Really?" he said raising his brows. She nodded smiling. "Show me," he asked offering her his hand. "Here, you can use mine if you want to."  
  
Elsa eyed him dubiously, but ended up grabbing his large hand.  
  
"Well, she said something like _'this is the man's member when it’s relaxed'_ ," she showed him her right hand index finger slightly bent and at rest, " _'and this is how it is when it’s aroused'._ " She stretched her finger pointing upwards, tensing it. A small smile appeared on the Admiral's lips. "Then she showed me the woman." She grabbed Hans' hand and molded it until it looked like an almost closed fist. She made sure space was left inside. "They join together this way," she inserted her thin finger inside the tunnel of his hand, making Hans inhale deeply, "and then move rubbing each other."  
  
She was so engrossed in her explanation that she didn't notice the fervently way in which Hans was looking at her or how her little demonstration was briskly affecting him. "She told me it could be slow," she moved her finger inside and out of his engulfing hand several times at an unhurried rhythm, always looking at their joined hands, "or very fast," she did the same motion at a quick pace. " _As simple as that'_ , she said."  
  
Suddenly, a slight movement underneath caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. When she took a better look she realized it was Hans' own virile member that had moved half erecting. Automatically, her eyes went up to meet his and what she found was a very masculine, confident and full of lust expression.  
  
"As you can see, she told you the truth. It does raise." His voice sounded hoarse.  
  
For some reason, seeing for real, in first person, what she had explained a minute earlier to him made her feel very stupid. For sure he had been with other women who knew all that already and didn't make themselves look like silly thirty-eight virgins.  
  
"I must look like a total fool to you right now," she said ashamed looking somewhere else and retracting her hands towards her own body, as if protecting herself.  
  
Hans felt her pulling away from him, physically and mentally. He sighed, trying to temper his eager body. If only she knew what he made to him. He had to make her understand.  
  
The Admiral grabbed her jaw with one hand, turned her head towards his and kissed her with restrained passion.  
  
"God Elsa, you are everything but a fool," he said when their lips parted. "You have no idea how special all of this is for me. You may think your inexperience looks funny to me, but in reality it drives me crazy," he continued looking directly into her eyes. She dropped her gaze, breaking the contact, her fingers fidgeting on her lap. It made him think she wasn't believing him. "Listen to me." He lifted her chin so she would look at him again. "The women I've been with knew beforehand what we were about to do: a physical exchange, where the desires of the flesh and lust live together, but where deep emotions are barred, masked away, and feelings are hidden and guarded. With you all that is different. You're showing yourself to me as you are, without filters. You are genuine, natural, terribly alluring, and very rare and unique, and I don't mean it for your powers only," he explained. "And you're also shy and reserved, but that's only expected given the night we have ahead of us. What you just did with our hands was very erotic for me. You should never feel inferior or embarrassed about it, all right?"  
  
Elsa felt herself melting inside like an ice-cream in plain summer. The serious but warm look on his face combined with what he had just transmitted her cradled her insecure and naive heart.  
  
"That's a dangerous mouth you have right there," she stated touching his soft lips with her fingertips, "that knows how to disarm a woman with words. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, knowing how good of a negotiator and a strategist you are."  
  
"Don't try to distract or flatter me, I want to clear this." The Admiral said taking her fingers. "Have you understood what I've just said?"  
  
"Yes, I have." She moved closer and kissed him, putting her hands over his sideburns. "Thank you for telling me," she said over his lips, "and for being so kind and considerate." She kissed him again, more intensely, asking for entrance.  
  
"Elsa, wait, I haven't finished." He broke the kiss. "I can see you have an idea of how it works, but... what about contraception? Did Anna talk to you about it too?"  
  
A wave of heat fell over her face and neck, making her feel abashed once more. Hans witnessed the reaction on her skin, like a sea of fire gaining ground on a pristine salt field. She felt like she did many years ago, when she was learning how to rule and hadn't prepared well enough her meetings and conferences and was later caught off guard by her subjects. She covered her face.  
  
"Elsa, it's okay, you can talk to me." He made her drop her hands.  
  
"No, she didn't really and I didn't ask. To be honest, I've never really cared to know since I've always felt I had more important things to do." _Like running and protecting a kingdom_ , he thought. "And... well, you know..." she finished with a hint of unease.  
  
"Fine, but that's changed now, and it is important we discuss it. I don't want us having surprises."  
  
"You mean having a child," affirmed the Queen.  
  
"Yes. You know there is a real possibility that you may become pregnant if we do this, right?" he told her. "Even if we take precautions."  
  
Elsa hid her face in his neck, hugging him with her arms and closing her eyes, overflowed with emotions. When she decided to spend the night with him, more than a week ago, this had definitely not been on her list. It wasn't as if the idea of conceiving was totally alien to her, for she had always known that would be the way to secure the royal line. But to have to talk it with Hans seemed surreal to her. This had precisely been what Anna made her promise when she promoted him to Admiral, that she wouldn’t grant him the opportunity of a link to the throne of Arendelle. Just that slight chance of her ending up with child was a risk she shouldn’t be taking, she knew, but she didn’t want to back off, not when they had come so far, not when she was finally on the verge of  being with someone for real. It consoled her that he was addressing the matter in a gentlemanly way, which was a lot more than what she had done in regards to it.  
  
"Jesus, Hans, don't scare me," she muttered.  
  
The Admiral furrowed his brows, a sardonic smile on his mouth. "That bad it would be?" He grabbed the end of her braid and took off the band with the snowflake that tied it up together.  
  
"What? No!" She sat up and looked at him, ignoring how his hands were undoing her hair. "I didn't mean it that way. I know you would be a great father; I’ve seen you with Brigitta. I know you two had a bumpy start but now she adores you." Brigitta had come to live in Arendelle with him when an internal war  broke out in the Southern Isles. She was the daughter of Sigurd’s first-born and only son, Morten, who was assassinated by one of the King’s and Hans’ brothers, Heinrik, whose objective was to take the throne of his country at any cost. The Admiral and his grandniece ended up together under a very strange  and full of tension situation, but after spending months in the company of each other and working out their differences, it all dissipated and a relationship of mutual affection and love was born.  
  
Hans studied her from the corner of his eyes, focusing on her long and full of waves platinum blonde mane. "Do you really think that or are you just trying to repair my damaged ego?"  
  
Elsa bit her lip, doubting for a moment if she should tell him what she really felt. "I'm not going to lie and say I haven't thought about it. Were our circumstances different, I wouldn't mind starting a family with you. You make me happy, Hans."  
  
The Admiral stopped playing with her hair and stared at her as if she was an enigma he hadn't quite figured out yet. Then he let his head fall against the wall, closing his eyes and sighing.  
  
"Are you all right?" She asked placing her hand on his chest, fearing having said too much.  
  
She couldn't know until what point her words affected him. It was like a dream come true.  
  
"What am I going to do with you, Elsa?" His voice came out raspy, due to the emotion that tied like a bow at his throat. "You make me see time and again why I don't deserve you."  
  
"Why do you say that?" She delicately traced with her index finger the line that went from his chin to his collarbone.  
  
"Because I was playing you," he confessed. He had wanted to see her reaction if he inferred he could be the father of her child and she had punched him with the truth. "I know too well why now is not a good time for an unplanned pregnancy, specially considering our secret affair and everything we have on our plates."  
  
Elsa dropped her hand and played the part, acting aggrieved and looking sideways. "I guess some things don't change."  
  
"Ouch, that hurt." He sat up straighter and hugged her, smiling a little, because she was giving him of his own medicine. "You sure know how to put me in my place."  
  
"I should better know to, you're a very dangerous man," she said still not looking at him. The flirting tone was unmistakable.  
  
He could read between the lines and knew what she meant. He could be lethal when he put his mind to it, as he had so well shown. "And you let a dangerous man onto your bed, my lady?"  
  
She turned to him with a timid smile on her lips. "Only because I believe that in time I'll be able to tame him."  
  
Hans' smile broadened. "Don't you see you already have?" he said before kissing her and sending them both into a whirlwind of sensations. He nibbled her swan neck and smelled the pine and heather on her skin and the lavender in her hair.  
  
"What if it happens, Hans?" she asked. "What if I become pregnant?"  
  
He kissed once more the area of the neck where he felt her pulse and then separated to see her face. "Well, first and foremost, please tell me, don't hide it from me. And above all, don't even think of getting rid of him or of her."  
  
"You think I would be able to do something like that?" she sounded offended.  
  
"I don't know, Elsa, it's the first time we talk about this. I don't know your view on it. What I do know is that a lot of women try to get rid of unwanted babies and they risk their health in doing so." He put a rebel lock of hair behind her ear.  
  
"It hurts me that you think I would disregard the life of a child like that." She actually loved children and had a soft spot for them, despite Anna being the one who had a better hand with them.  
  
"Why? Many women do, and so do the fathers. Maybe you don't want an illegitimate son, maybe you want to be with me and explore this thing we have between us but you don't want to bear my children."  
  
She stared at him incredulous. "I've just told you I wouldn't mind starting a family with you."  
  
The Admiral nodded with a serious rictus. "Yes, if our circumstances were different, and they're not."  
  
"You're being irrationally cold about this, you know that, right?" Elsa diverted her gaze to the hearth, a little bothered by the untactful way in which he was exposing his thoughts.  
  
Hans noticed and capitulated, using a more neutral voice. "I'm only being realistic. I can't anticipate what you'll do if you find yourself in that situation. You know how pregnant and unmarried women are seen and treated, specially in royalty. They're seen as ruined, disgraced, and they're banished and shunned out. Would you endure that kind of criticism and behavior towards you or would you prefer an abortion to keep your reputation intact? Because I can assure you, the news of you being knocked up by someone out of wedlock would be the most juicy gossip from here to Corona in what is left of the year."  
  
He didn't voice it out loud, because he didn't want to touch the subject of marriage, but the best and obvious solution to her getting with child was for them to get married. It would shut up mouths and make everything 'official'.  
  
"I guess I would have to give a lot of explanations if it came to that," reasoned Elsa playing with her hands absently.  
  
"Actually you wouldn't, the Queen doesn’t owe explanations to anyone, and much less in a personal matter such as this," he corrected her. "You’re old enough, Elsa. And of course, it wouldn't be the first bastard in a royal house. But, as you so well know, it's different for women. Not even being Queen will save you from being tarnished and excoriated by others."  
  
Elsa breathed in, knowing his words were true. It wasn't easy being a single female ruler in a world controlled by men. She had been questioned many times solely for the fact of being a woman and she hated it every time it occurred. Constanza came to her mind. The Queen of Glowerhaven had to go through a lot to be where she was today. Forced to surrender her nation and marry the Duke of Weselton, brother of the King of said country, after her father and three brothers were killed in a battle against the Weseltonian fleet, she had been treated as a puppet and had to witness the decay of her country and her people to the hands of the enemy. Still, she had been clever enough to form a rebellion under her husband’s nose, and after the mass suicide of the Weselton royal family, had become the leader of the provisional government of the same country that conquered Glowerhaven in the first place. As the current sovereign of two kingdoms, she knew what it was to be judged by other male rulers, who were more esteemed, specially in public events such as international conferences and diplomatic meetings. As friends, they had discussed it on several occasions, and they always came to the same conclusion: they were just as a reliable, strong and intelligent as their male partners, and sometimes, even more efficient and smarter than them.  
  
Constanza had a five-year-old son, Prince Crispin, who she wished to see some day as king of a free Glowerhaven. _A legitimate son_ , Elsa thought coming back to reality. For an instant, the prospect of sleeping with Hans seemed too big a risk for the bad consequences it could have for her.  
  
"Aargh, why didn't I think of this earlier?" she asked herself sighing. She touched her forehead, trying to massage the knot that had formed between her brows.  
  
The Admiral saw her concern and feared the worst. "Are you having second thoughts?" The way she looked at him was answer enough. "You are..." He tried to hide the disappointment from his voice, but failed miserably.  
  
Elsa tried to reassure him, not giving up on their night together. "No, it's only that I wish there was a certain way to avoid pregnancy all the way."  
  
"There is, to not have sexual relationships at all."  
  
"Great..." she murmured disillusioned.  
  
"But there are ways around it, Elsa. They're not foolproof, but they work quite well if used correctly," he informed her. "It's one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. I want you to be in possession of all there is to know, so you make your own decisions. I consider you my equal, and hence capable to choose what kind of protection you want use when we sleep together, if you still want to go ahead with this, of course."  
  
She observed him for a few seconds, amazed that he was really giving her a way out of this. She doubted other men would be as generous, which only made her love him more. "Yes, I still want to."  
  
"Are you sure? I would understand your change of opinion." _Even if it tore me up in two inside... I want to make you mine like I've never before wanted to make mine any other woman._    
  
"I'm sure, Hans. I trust you. And... these methods must work, or else we would have more little versions of you running throughout Arendelle," she teased. She saw him smile without showing his teeth, which only served as confirmation that he had been sexually active during the past years. "Tell me which are those ways that prevent pregnancy."  
  
"Very well..." He moved in his seat. "Do you know what a condom is?"  
  
"No, I don't."  
  
He proceeded to explain it to her.  
  
"It's a very thin sheath that the man puts on his... Here," he touched his own shaft for her to understand. Elsa's brows knitted, reflecting her confusion. Hans noticed and tried to illustrate it better. "Just as you told me earlier, when it is right up, erected," he showed her his straight right index finger pointing to the ceiling, "you put the condom on top, covering it, and tie it at the base." He used his other hand to expose it. "That way, when the man releases, it prevents his seed to go inside the woman."  
  
"Releases?" she asked lost.  
  
"Yes," he said smiling, actually reddening a little himself this time. "You'll see it later, but so you get and idea, the friction movement you did before with our fingers," he did it again with his, to show her, "it builds up and grows until either one of the two can't take it anymore. In the case of the man, it means the emission of his sperm in a very frantic and explosive way. Think of it as a pistol firing itself. It's quick, potent and very powerful in its impact. And very, very pleasurable."  
  
The Queen, with her hands on her knees, paid attention like a good student, looking alternatively between his hands and his eyes.  
  
"All right..." she said satisfied with his reply, although deep down she knew she wouldn't really comprehend how all that really worked until she she saw and experienced it for herself, with him. "So you use condoms then?"  
  
"Yes, most of the times. They're not easy to obtain and they're expensive, but it's what has worked best for me until now. I haven't brought them today, but I'll show them to you the next time."  
  
Elsa frowned puzzled. "Why haven't you?"  
  
"Because I want to feel you, my skin against your skin. Condoms reduce sensitivity," he explained laying one hand on her back and the other on her forearm. "But don't worry, I'll withdraw." Hans saw in her eyes she didn't get it. "What I mean is that I'll pull out of you before I release. It'll be messier, but I don't want it any other way, at least not for our first time."  
  
Remaining in silence for a moment, Elsa tried to imagine how it would be. Instead of calming her, the uncertainty of her thoughts only ruffled her more.  
  
"Okay, what else? Are there more... contraception methods?"  
  
"Yes, there are also feminine barriers: caps, sponges, syringes... Have you heard of them?" Elsa shook her head and wondered if Anna knew about all that. _After four children and so many years of marriage… yes, she probably does_ , spoke her mind. "All of them pursue the same objective, avoid the sperm getting to the womb. The caps and the sponges are introduced into the vagina, while the syringes are used to clean it after the man and the wo-" Hans stopped talking when Elsa broke the visual contact with him, as if she didn’t want to listen anymore. "Am I scaring you with all this?" He caressed the skin on her back and her arm, trying to comfort her.  
  
"Yes… No… Maybe? I definitely feel like a fish out of water," she answered with her gaze on the canopied bed, feeling her cheeks burning. She turned to him with her next question. "Do you really expect me to put something inside my body?"  
  
"No, if you don’t want to, but I can tell you is not as bad as it sounds."  
  
"How would you know? You’re not a woman," she pronounced captiously.  
  
"No, I’m not, but I know a woman’s body better than you know yours and I know how adaptable they are." His words seemed to take her aback, for her shoulders slumped and she dropped her head, causing her hair to cover her face.  
  
The Admiral brought her closer and hugged her as if she was a little girl. "Darling, I know this is a lot to take in, but you are entitled to all this information. I believe it’s better for you to know about these things than to keep you in ignorance." He delicately took the bone colored strands off her face with his fingers, to see her profile. "We’re usually scared of those things we don’t understand and I don’t want that to happen to you." She looked indecisive and inhibited, so he continued talking to calm her. "Earlier, I could have undressed you and laid you down on the bed and be done with this whole thing pretty fast, believe me. If I were younger it’s probably what I would have done. The result would have been the same, but the experience would have been very different, because I know things that you don’t, because I know what’s going to happen while you only have a vague idea." Elsa kept her eyes to the front, on the blazing fire, though she was listening carefully. "I want you to be on the same page as me, to feel at ease and secure, and to enjoy this openly, without hesitation."  
  
Elsa thought that if he took such pains it was only because he really cared for her, and that relieved her. She rested her body against his, lying her head on his shoulder and burying her face in his neck.  
  
"Thank you. I really appreciate it, seriously," she said sincerely, starting to stroke his chest with one hand. "I’m sorry if I seem reluctant, but as you said, this is a lot to assimilate, and it’s weird to talk to you about all these things. These subjects are always so…"  
  
"Taboo?" he offered.  
  
"Yes… But you talk of them in a very natural way."  
  
"Because sex is a very natural part of life." He cradled her in his arms, caressing her head and looking at her with fondness. Elsa grinned blushing, making him feel that everything was right in the world as long as she smiled to him that way.  
  
"So these caps and sponges… do you have them too?" she continued with the conversation.  
  
"No, not with me, but I’ll get you some so you can see how they are and try them, if you want to."  
  
"All right," the Queen agreed.  
  
"I know there are also herbal remedies that prevent pregnancy, but I’m not very acquainted with them and I’m not sure if they work. It could be something to look into…" mentioned Hans outlining her birthmark with a finger.  
  
"How… how is it that you know so much about all this? Is it just from experience?" Elsa inquired looking up.  
  
"Yes and no. Experience does help a lot and teaches you until a certain point, but if you really want to understand something is not enough with practice, you have to dig deeper into theory. When I was younger there was a time, I think a couple of years after your coronation, when I felt very curious about sex, not just in the act itself but in everything it entailed. I had already tried it and knew how it worked, but I didn’t exactly understand what was happening at a corporal level when a man and a woman slept together, primarily on the feminine part. My experience until that point had been somewhat strange. Some women seemed to enjoy sex and others didn’t and I wanted to understand why. So I started to read material related to the topic. Every time I arrived to a port, I visited several bookshops and asked for books of anatomy and sexual health and even for medical articles. It quenched my curiosity to some extent, but I still had questions. I had heard and read so many things regarding sex and women, a lot of it contradictory, that I didn’t know what to believe anymore. Fortunately, I met a man that dissipated all my doubts, the one that cured these stab wounds," he marked the scars she had touched earlier.  
  
"A doctor?" deduced the Queen.  
  
"Yes. Doctor Robert Porter. He was around my age now when I met him in Gormund. The privateer I was working at during that time docked in Port Fiducia, where we were to stay for a couple of weeks. I got into a fight one night after winning several games of cards in a bar of little standing. I needed the money fast to pay off a debt, so I ignored the voice of reason that told me those men would only bring trouble. They searched for me not long after I left the place with my prize. They were mercenaries, of the worst kind. They cornered me and beat me up in an alley. Silly me, I tried to fight them back, even knowing I was outnumbered. I was so cocky and naive…" He shook his head. "A seventeen-year-old boy picked me up from the streets and took me to his house. It was Porter’s son."  
  
"And the doctor treated and cured you," Elsa guessed.  
  
"He did more than that. He helped me settle the outstanding account I had. He lent me the money in exchange of me helping him in his examination room. His assistant had left for a better job in the city and he needed someone capable at his side. I told him that the only medical training I had was that of the navy. It seemed enough for him. It was only when I told him my name that he hesitated. _‘So you are the regicide prince, the one that tried to kill the Queen of Arendelle?’_ , he asked me. My brothers, specially Sigurd, had already made a good propaganda the years prior. It was so humiliating… I felt I couldn't lie to the man that had saved my life, so I told him the truth. _'Are you going to hurt me or my family?’_ I assured him that of course not, and he took my word. I don't know what he saw in me, but he gave me a chance, a vote a confidence, and so did his family. I didn't know until that moment how much I needed for someone to give me the benefit of the doubt. It helped me to move forward."  
  
"A nice thing what he and his family did. It’s heartwarming to know there are still people like that," she said pushing aside the red hair that fell on his eyes.  
  
"You’re one of those persons, Elsa," Hans emphasized. "You let me stay here in Arendelle after everything I did."  
  
"It’s not as if I could have said no to your… little Princess." Isabel, the small sweet ten-year-old girl who had been his companion during their brutal stay in the slaver. In her last hours of life, the young child had been the one to ask her to let her ‘Prince’ have a home. Elsa remembered the scene vividly, for when she came out of the tent where Isabel was staying she saw Hans there on the ground. He was completely different than the last time she had seen him, after sending him to the Southern Isles so his brothers could deal with him. He was dressed with threadbare clothes, skinny as a wire and sobbing. A shadow of the man that tried to usurp her throne eight years earlier. He chose that moment to apologize to her for everything he had done in the past. _‘I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you and your sister!’_ Without wanting to, his words were engraved on her heart as she quickly returned to the castle. That was the day that a tiny spark of forgiveness lit inside of her.  
  
The Admiral’s face softened. "Yes… It was very hard to say no to her, rest in peace her soul." Still, he knew she hadn’t made that decision just because of the little girl.  
  
His mind seemed to fly somewhere else and Elsa touched his cheek to make him come back to her.  
  
"You stayed long in Gormund?" she asked.  
  
"Almost five months, until I gave back what I owed. Robert offered me to stay, but medicine is not for me. I learned many things working for him though, probably the most important one being that sex is a lot more that sticking one's cock into a hole... " Elsa opened her eyes wide, not accustomed to hearing such vivid vocabulary. "I'm sorry, baby. It came out with the language I use with my men."  
  
"You usually speak like that to them?" she asked half shocked, half interested.  
  
"Sometimes, more when ladies are not present," he replied. He observed her for a moment, thinking if he should tell her. She probably already knew. "I feel bad for breaking it up to you, but us men are a bunch of filthy lecherous pigs who..."  
  
"...can't stop thinking of sticking their dicks into orifices," Elsa finished, motivated by the intimate confidence that had built throughout that seated conversation. She wanted to show him that she wasn't so strait-laced, even if she was most of the time.  
  
Hans broke out in a laugh, pleasantly surprised. "Yes, pretty much."  
  
"I apologize now for using such vulgar language," she said, her eyes full of mirth.  
  
"Please don't. It actually turns me on to hear the Queen of Arendelle talk like that." His right hand followed a path from the side of her breast to her hip, where he held her with desire.  
  
"How can it be possible?" she said feeling every caress as if it were amplified.  
  
"Because there's something very enticing in seeing your sweet little mouth saying dirty words," he answered lowering his head towards hers. "Say 'dick' again," he ordered.  
  
"Dick," popped out of her mouth like a bubble, her cheeks turning the shade of sunset.  
  
His eyes turned predatory, focusing on her blue ones and on her rosy lips, while the hand berthed at Port Hip decided to lift anchors and sail South, to the warm waters of her leg.  
  
"Say it one more time," he asked in a deeper voice, his own mouth just inches away from hers.  
  
"Dick," Elsa repeated on the brink of smiling, her heart picking up pace like a bucket of rolled dices that never settle to offer a number.  
  
Hans wanted to tell her all the things he wanted to do to her with his dick, but refrained, as it wasn't his intention to scare or make her uncomfortable. Instead he said:  
  
"Look down."  
  
Elsa did and the sunset of her face turned into a crimson moon. His sword was standing firm and tall.  
  
"See how dumb I am? You saying nasty things to me is all you need to get me aroused."  
  
The Queen laughed nervously, covering her mouth with one hand. He was glad to see her take it good naturedly.  
  
"Give me a kiss," he asked smiling too.  
  
"Where do you want me to give it to you?" she said naively, her hand holding his jaw.  
  
Hans didn't see that one coming, but loved it. "Are you serious?" His smile almost turning into a guffaw.  
  
"Yes, why?" Elsa said oblivious. Three seconds of looking into his eyes, seeing him raise one brow, and she realized what her question had hinted. "Well, no... Not there," she hurried to clarify, not knowing where to hide, taking her hand away.  
  
"No?" he pressed, a shark smile gracing his features.  
  
Elsa shook her head more embarrassed if it was possible, seeing how much fun he was having at her cost. "You were right," she pointed him in the chest, "you-are-a-pig." She wasn't going to admit it, but seeing him aroused turned her on too.  
  
"I told you," said the Admiral laughing. "For a moment there I thought you were playing with me."  
  
"That's what you would have liked, right?" There was a wistful desire in her voice, of being at his sexual level intellectually.  
  
"You'll have plenty of time to do that, I'm not in a hurry."  
  
The Queen smiled grateful, he was being very patient. "Do you still want that kiss?" She caressed the auburn hair on his chest.  
  
Hans got his face pretty close to hers and whispered: "I want you to eat up my mouth, Elsa."  
  
Said and done. Elsa plunged into it like a Valkyrie, bruising his lips the way he had taught her and having for once the control of the kiss. Hans emitted a sound of joy, letting her have his way with him. She pushed him against the back of the seat, embracing him by the waist. The longer she kissed him, the closer she wanted to be to his body, to the point of wanting to fuse them together. Her hands palpated his back, her fingers digging into his skin. She started strong, with vigor, leaving him breathless, but little by little she decreased the rhythm, until regaling him with little open kisses over the lips, piercing them between her teeth.  
  
"God, you learn so fast..." he voiced mesmerized, opening his eyes slowly. The greenish burning in them greatly satisfied the Queen,  who smiled over his mouth, still pecking him every few seconds.  
  
"Is there anything else you want to tell me?" She felt she was ready to keep going, to give herself to him.  
  
"Yes, only one more, and it's important" he answered caressing her hair and shoulders with his hands. Elsa looked expectantly at him, her arms still around his torso. "I want you to own your sexuality."  
  
She thought for a moment and then spoke: "I don't think I understand what you mean."  
  
Hans stopped the movement of his hands and focused on her face.  
  
"You're not here to please me or to do your duty as a woman," he started. "I know most men think that way, but I'm not one of them. I don't want you to be passive just because you think you ought to be or because you think that is what I expect. I want you to hold your ground on that bed," he signaled it with his chin, "to seek your own pleasure, to ask me to give it to you. To tell me what you like and what you don't, when you feel like sleeping with me and when you don't, to ask me questions when you have them, and to take the initiative and try new things."  
  
She stared at him for some time, digesting the information.  
  
"Basically, you're asking me to act like a man would," she summarized, a new glint in her eyes.  
  
"Yes, that's my girl." He kissed her forehead happy.  
  
Elsa realized that he truly wanted to give her total freedom in this new phase of their relationship, for to act as a man meant to act whatever the way she liked.  
  
"You know, you're making me feel like I'm the luckiest woman in the world." She kissed him several times on the neck, enjoying once more his penetrating smell.  
  
"I'm glad, because it's what you deserve, darling. I know you already know this, but don't ever let anyone take advantage of you, not even me. You set your own limits, and whoever trespasses them... then freeze them."  
  
The Queen smiled contented, knowing she couldn't ask for more. She turned his head to catch his mouth with her lips. Hans instantly introduced his tongue inside hers and this time it made her think of his large and thick masculine member.  
  
"It will fit, right?" she asked between kisses, following his wish of asking him any questions she could have. "You said our bodies are adaptable..."  
  
The corners of the Admiral's mouth went up, understanding what she meant. "Yes, it will, though it might hurt you this first time." Elsa was about to say that she already knew it would hurt, because Anna had told her in that conversation of so long ago, but he hungrily kissed her again. "I'll go as slow as I can," he reassured her.  
  
"Okay," she said, her eyes two beautiful navy blue basins mirroring the rare and treasured moments they had lived together until that point: their first and strange kiss while they were attacked by bandits, their second and real one, being alone and comfortable with each other, the first touching of hands, the first true embrace, the long conversations about books, the chess games, the hours spent at her office studying and analyzing treaties and documents, the time they talked of their broken hearts, riding Sitron together, the significant but scarce knowing looks at official events, their rapport and mutual support during the Coronan Conference, their encounter at the Grecian Garden, even their disputes when they didn't agree with each other. There were so many... His sunny and jungle green iris returned her gaze, acknowledging all those lived experiences and wishing for many more to come.  
  
That look was the starting pistol for the long-awaited foreplay and it was celebrated with a long, wet and smothering kiss. Elsa put his arms around his neck and threaded her fingers through his hair. The hand of Hans that wasn't around her waist cupped her breast with delight, enjoying its sponginess. They caressed each other with a searing agony, as if there wasn't anything that could contain them.  
  
Hans tried to mark as much of her skin as he could reach with the touch of his hands, since his lips were still sealed to hers. Every new part of Elsa's body that he conquered was branded as _mine_ and added to the Admiral's corporal empire. Her low back, her nape, her elbows, her wrists, her hips, her abdomen. He also went for her slender legs, raising them over his other thigh to have a better access to them. And then her insteps fell, and so did her ankles and her calves and her knees.  
  
Seated as she was, the Queen explored his back and his front with her hands at the same time. She felt the peaks and the valleys of each single scar and the rough texture of his chest hair, that plummeted like a waterfall of cherry punch to his hard and defined abs. She didn't dare go below his navel, but Hans did, burying his fingers in her platinum colored pubic hair and pulling from it with dominance. One second after, still kissing, a smaller hand landed on top of his before he could launch further prospections. Elsa grabbed his hand and guided it slowly to her breast, where she pressed his palm to it. The gesture was pretty self explanatory, _'you can touch me here, but not there'_. It was the second time that she avoided or rejected his caresses in that zone of her body. Hans didn't understand why yet, especially considering how for a moment she had lost track of the kiss and had emitted a small moan from the bottom of her throat, but he was sure he would find out soon. It probably was out of shyness or maybe she was testing him after the words he had said. In the meantime, he would respect her wish and stay away from her inner thigh, which meant he had to look somewhere else for hunting. His mouth was already fishing, with his hook inside her sweet pond. But it was time of fruit picking. He left her swollen lips and scattered all over her neck and collarbone, leaving a trail of kisses and nibblings. When he felt every inch of pearly skin had fell under his command, he went lower, to her chocolate mark, which he licked with his tongue. And finally, he surmounted her white mounds and tasted the raspberries at the top. Hans couldn't believe he was finally doing what he had dreamt of so many times, and it was a hundredfold better than what his imagination could have conjured up.  
  
The air left Elsa's lungs in a sensual exhalation when she felt his mouth tending to her nipples. She saw him do all kind of things with them: suck, play with his tongue, lick, blow over the stimulated skin, and even use his teeth with care. And one of his hands was always lurking around, fondling the bosom he wasn't loving with his lips. It was very exciting and new for her, to the point that she pressed her legs together to alleviate in some way the heated pressure that danced like the flames of the hearth in her belly.  
  
Hans was totally engrossed in his ministrations. Elsa had ample breasts, as it was common in Nordic women, but not extremely big. He was fascinated by their creaminess, their softness and their turgidity. But perhaps what he liked best were the small sounds that were coming out of her mouth in answer to his petting. It was a shame that she was repressing them; she sounded like a chick who was learning to tweet. He released one of her raspberries with the intention of telling her to not hold it inside, to not keep it to herself, that if she liked what he was doing to her he wanted to know, to hear her. But at the end he changed his mind and caressed her areola with his pointy nose. He didn't want to condition or pressure her to act a certain way. With time, he thought, she would become more expressive, she would loosen up. And if not, it didn't matter, he would take her in any way she came.  
  
He gazed at her marvelous figure with reverence, her healthy and pale skin emitting the light of Earth's small satellite.  
  
"I feel like I have the moon between my arms," he said kindly kissing her breasts again.  
  
It wasn't vain flattery, since he had discovered, during countless starless nights, that Elsa and the moon had more things in common that just the color of their appearance. Both had beautiful smiles when one was able to see them, because her hands acted many times as the clouds in the sky, covering the jewel that was behind. Both always had a part of themselves hidden to the eyes of others; Elsa had many layers and he knew he hadn't gotten to the thick and deeper ones, he would only get there if she let him. Both had no rival when they were present, they took the attention of those that looked at them, leaving everything else in the background. Coldness was part of their nature as they were both comfortable living with it. And Elsa, like the moon, had felt distant and unreachable to him for a long time, reasons that explained why that night meant so much to him. In all the years he had lived, she had been the hardest woman to get, which explained why the reward was being so delicious. But he didn't lie to himself. Even if they were spending the night together he didn't dare believe she was already his, although deep inside he for sure wanted to belong to her. Finally, they both had a _Sea of Tranquility_ in them, the moon in a lunar mare and Elsa in her calmness and patience, though that didn’t mean it didn’t turn into an ice floe when she got mad.  
  
Elsa smiled biting her lower lip. "And I feel like I'm being kissed by the sun," she replied.  
  
That compliment made him raise his head to look at her. "I think that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me." He kissed her. No one had ever compared him to the king star of the sky.  
  
"It can't be... I'm sure that a man like you must have received tons of proper praise..." she teased.  
  
"Not of the ones that matter. I have been told many pretty things, but they were all just means to an end."  
  
The seriousness of his voice and the detached way in which he said it, with his eyes avoiding hers, told Elsa that this was a touchy subject. His words spoke of a life filled of women, but of no one special and close enough to share real intimacy with. She had felt alone many times throughout the years after Eric broke the engagement, but she had always had her family there. Anna had been an enormous support when she had felt down. And there had also been Kristoff and the kids, Olaf and the Marshmallows, Sitron, and even Kai and Gerda. But who did Hans have when he was repudiated by his own family and expelled from his own country? To whom did he turn to when he felt lost and depressed during those years he wandered as a pirate? And while he made the career in her Navy? She knew he had reunited with his adoptive family a couple of years ago and that he now had Brigitta in his life, even if she wasn’t living in Arendelle anymore. That only left the friends he had made along the years and they could only comfort so much. From the beginning, Elsa had sensed there was something lacking in him, but his facade had always distracted her. As the full grown up and tough man that he was, Hans gave the impression that he didn't need anyone, but now that she could look closer she could see the big hole in his chest. She realized that he must have felt very lonely and lived with a lot of emptiness in his life. She wanted to fill that hole with affection and love, to erase the look that was on his face at that moment.  
  
The Queen held his face in her hands and stroked his peppered cheeks with her thumbs. "Well then it doesn't matter anymore, for now you are my sun, Hans, in every sense of the word." She kissed him sweetly, pouring all her emotions into that small contact. "And for the record, I'm not saying it lightly."  
  
"I know," he said humbled, thankful that destiny had given them another chance. He went to kiss her, but she continued talking.  
  
"Your ego is the size of our brightest star and you can be as harmful as its sun-rays on the skin when you want to," Elsa started comically with merry eyes, pecking him. The Admiral smiled amused. "But you also have fire running through your veins and on your hair, that speaks of your courage, of your passion doing things and of your quick mind; and you're warm, both inside and out, even if you don't show it all the time. It explains why you get along so well with people, why you have a good sense of humor, why you're able to be compassionate and why you care so much about those that you love."  
  
"Elsa, stop. You're going to make me blush and I'm too old for that..." As aroused as he was, his chest was hurting more than his shaft because of all the things she was making him feel.  
  
He put an arm under her knees and stood up from the chair, holding her with his arms. Elsa grabbed onto him as he walked towards the foot of the queen sized bed.  
  
"I don't care," she said kissing his jaw. "You're vital to this nation and to me, just like the sun is to our planetary system."  
  
"Oh my, you're a modern _Juliet_ …" he whispered enraptured before kissing her voraciously. He would be purring like a cat if he didn't feel so stimulated.  
  
Still holding her and without leaving her lips, he entered the bed on his knees and went to the center of it. Elsa felt her whole body tingling with anticipation, a nervous burning stewing below her stomach. Hans placed her carefully on the mattress and later opened the other side of the bed to leave the covers at their feet. He looked at her for a moment ravenously, seated on his heels. She was a cheesecake he wanted to gobble down like a starving man. _I'm a lucky bastard_ , he thought when Elsa extended her arms towards him so he would go to her.  
  
The Queen kept feeling intimidated by his upright cannon, but she tried to disguise it with a smile. However, when he laid on top of her she felt him wholly against her. She felt small and a little bit overwhelmed under his large and warm body, but Hans didn't give her time to think, drowning her in one kiss after another while he held his weight on his forearms. Without her noticing it, he deftly opened her legs nudging his knee between them and settled himself better against her core. That was when Elsa tensed some and moaned into the kiss. She turned her head to the side, removing her mouth from his, to get some oxygen.  
  
"Are you all right, darling?" Hans asked kissing her throat.  
  
"Yes," she breathed out. _I'm just feeling a million things at the same time, spoke her mind._  
  
Elsa felt him nibbling his way through her jaw until he reach her earlobe, which he caught between his teeth. Then he whispered:  
  
"So if you're the moon and I'm the sun, does that means we're going to make an eclipse together, mmhn?" He looked at her and saw her beautiful smile.  
  
Hans had never seen a total solar eclipse, but he had read about the phenomenon. For a very short period of time, the smaller shape of the moon fitted perfectly into the bigger size of the sun, being in conjunction, in synch, aligned. Both celestial bodies _became one_.  
  
"Yes, I guess so." She moved one arm to embrace him under the armpit, feeling his broad back under her small hand. The other she put over his shoulder and around his neck.  
  
"I want you so much, Elsa," he told her caressing the skin of her face tenderly, his green eyes two liquid peridots full of yearning. "I've never wanted anyone so badly. I want to make millions of eclipses with you," meaning he wanted to make love to her, be inside of her, millions of times.       
  
Her heart pumped strongly in her chest. "And we will." She raised her head from the pillow to kiss the point of his nose.  
  
"My miserable life was worth it just to get here, to you," he murmured following her down, pampering her with his hot and skillful mouth.  
  
Elsa didn't have the chance to answer as she was enveloped by his whole being. Hans felt her trembling underneath him and that only made him ache for her more. He didn't stop kissing her. His right hand snaked between their bodies until it reached his hard member. He placed it at her entrance and thrust, getting in only the head.  
  
She tensed more this time because… it hurt. She broke the kiss with half a whimper and moved restlessly under him. Their eyes connected for a second, but then she closed them, trying not to panic. _You knew it was going to hurt, you knew, so endure it_ , she told herself. However, it was painful and for a moment she wished it would be over soon.  
  
"You fine, babe?" the Admiral asked, examining her blushed but blank expression.  
  
Elsa nodded with her eyes still closed, lying, fearful that if she spoke a word he would notice everything that was going on inside of her. She felt the prickling of tears under her eyelids and to contain them she bit her tongue hard.  
  
"Look at me," he said. But she didn't, for her eyes were the mirror of her soul and she just couldn't share that with him at that instant. She didn't want him to see her torn within, and above all, she didn't want to ruin their first time together, especially after how good he had been with her. So instead, she used her lips to distract him, kissing him clumsily.  
  
Misled by her external signs and drugged by desire and lust, he pushed himself further into her virginal flesh, entering nirvana.  
  
Hans felt two strikes of cold on his back, just where Elsa's hands were hugging him strongly. It felt as if a thousand ice needles pierced through him in two different places, burning his skin alive in the process with the clash of temperatures. He hissed hard through clenched teeth from the pain, realizing then that if he was feeling that it only meant he had hurt Elsa much worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N (updated July 2016):
> 
> i. During the 19th century most women found out about sex through their husbands on their wedding night, as there was no sex education. This is why I made Elsa so naive.  
> ii. Contraception methods weren’t exactly like the ones we have today. The condoms Hans refers to in this chapter were made of either linen or animal skins (bladder or intestines). Rubber condoms weren’t made until the 1880s.


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm sorry, Hans. Please forgive me, it was involuntary," she apologized quickly in a guilty voice taking her hands  away from him, ashamed of her reaction.  
  
"I'm hurting you," he said aggravated, worried about her. "Why didn't you tell me?" He stopped immediately, withdrawing from her body. He separated and sat up next to her, breathing rapidly.  
  
"I thought... I thought I could handle it," she confessed feeling very exposed and vulnerable without his body on top of hers, her inner thigh burning and throbbing due to the unexpected _intrusion_.  
  
"You don't have to handle it, Elsa, specially if I'm causing you that much pain," he said sounding mildly irked. The unsatisfied desire made him hurt too, his scrotum swelled and filled with the unreleased sperm. The idea of going to the lavatory to finish himself off crossed his mind, but he knew it would be disrespectful, even if she didn't really understand it yet. Besides, he didn't want to leave her alone, not in that awkward moment, so he stayed put.  
  
It seemed as if they had started their sexual life the same way they had met each other for the first time more than seventeen years ago, with the wrong foot. Suddenly, he laughed, one of his hands going over his face, later caressing his red hair. That move made Elsa spot the two red circles on his back where she had burned him with her cold hands, worsening her internal turmoil.  
  
"For some reason I kind of knew you would make me sweat it, work for it," he said to himself, the irritation talking for him. "It had to be difficult... I guess I deserve it."  
  
Elsa froze after hearing his words. They hurt her even more than the previous intimate physical contact between their bodies. Rightly, she felt the need to leave, to disappear, to cry and to be left alone. And that wasn't even what bothered her the most. She was angry at herself, for hurting one of the persons she loved the most in such a dumb way. She couldn't believe the manner in which her powers had betrayed her. Anguished, she knew she had fail.  
  
The Admiral sensed the drop in temperature and the under tomb silence behind him, which made him turn his head to look at her. What he found were frozen tears on her temples and her gaze fixed on the ceiling. She lay still with her arms hugging her abdomen.  
  
"Hey, what's going on? Don't tell me you took my words seriously?" He laid on his side facing her, leaning on his elbow, and with the other hand he wiped the gleaming tears away from her face, making them drop on her hair and on the pillow. "I'm sorry, darling. I'm a jerk..." His apology made the dam to overflow. The Queen tried to erase the small diamond rivers from her temples and cheeks, but they just kept coming out. "C'mon Elsa, I don't like seeing you like this. Everything is fine, really," he tried to reassure her. "I'm just a little frustrated. I'm dying to be inside of you and it's turning out to be harder than I thought."  
  
"I don't want to be difficult for you," she said in a teary broken voice, looking him in the eye.  
  
"You aren't, baby. It's not your fault." He sat straight again and pulled from her hand so she would sit with him too. "If it feels difficult then it's because I'm not doing something right."  
  
He put his arm around her shoulders and brought her closer to him, kissing her head. Elsa sheltered her face in his neck. He gave her time to calm down, but when he saw it wasn’t working and that the tears kept falling uncontrollably, he observed her worriedly.  
  
"Why do you keep crying?"  
  
"Because I hurt you," she answered as an explanation for him to understand, her brilliant eyes a roughened sea. "I feel so mad at myself right now that I could freeze this entire room."  
  
The Admiral considered her words. "Then do it," he said after a few seconds. "Freeze it. Let it out." She looked at him surprised. "I want you to be calmed and relaxed, not tense and upset. Do it."  
  
Elsa bit her bottom lip and then decided to take him on his offer, sitting on her knees. Hans dropped his arm and let her be. She readied herself, rising slightly her bottom from her toes and extending her arms in front of her. The tears stopped and in its place a determined look filled her expression. She breathed once, concentrating, knowing she wasn't outside in open space and that there were the hearth and the candelabra on the night tables, which she didn't want to put out. Then the sparkling magic started to flow from her fingers, slow at the beginning, although with a lot more fierceness as the seconds went by. The walls and the ceiling were the first things she froze, the cracking noise of the infinitesimal snowflakes joining together filling the air. When that was almost done she drove her energy towards the furniture, the mirrors, the paintings, the wardrobes, the ground, even the bed, covering the majority of the chamber with a thick layer of ice. Next she let her anger, her rage, her displeasure out of her system, just like he had asked of her. Irregular ice spikes started to fill every corner, every surface, each one of them more dangerous, bigger, and sharper than the one born before it. It started to look like the ice she had unintentionally thrown on her coronation ball just right after Anna had announced her engagement to him. Destructive, scary, threatening, grotesque, lethal.  
  
Hans watched in awe as she maneuvered her powers with a disconcerting easiness, moving her hands in precise and alluring movements, pulsing her gift in waves from the tip of her fingers towards the exterior. He had seen her create the walls that had helped them win the war against Weselton, and that by itself had impressed him immensely, for it had required a lot of mental strength and effort on her part. Those walls were probably the hardest and most difficult thing she had done with her powers to date. But she would have done whatever it took to save and protect her people and her country, as she so well showed him back then. This, however, was something different. It felt as if she was letting him see a side of herself she rarely showed. It became apparent when he noticed how all the ice spikes on the floor and on the walls and the stalactites that hung dangerously from the canopy of the bed were directed towards her in an accusatory way, while he remained free of any ice around or on top of him.  
  
"Enough Elsa," he said not liking one bit how close the frozen sharp tips were to her immaculate body. He rested one of his hands on her thigh and left it there. "Now thaw it."  
  
Elsa felt the warmth of his touch on her as if it were a balsam. She looked at him and saw the love, the comfort, the trust in his emerald iris. She nodded. Her hands started working again, this time raising and disintegrating the hard ice into small snowflakes that floated in the air in a spiraling melody, gravitating towards the center of the room. When there wasn't any more frozen surfaces, she closed her hands in a small ball in front of her, gathering all the bright snowflakes, and then opened them wide, making them burst like a firework, just like she had done when she had melted her kingdom. It felt very easy doing it, having him there, lighter than other times.  
  
"Amazing. I love seeing you use your powers, though you shouldn't be so hard on yourself." He squeezed her thigh with affection.  
  
Elsa, more quiet, turned to him, to get a better look of his back. The two red ugly marks were still there, reminding her of her mistakes.  
  
"I disagree. At thirty-eight I should already know how to dominate them and it’s obvious I don't."  
  
The Admiral looked backwards, breaking her visual contact with his wounds.  
  
"How would you? This is a new experience for you. You've never been in this situation before. It’s only normal that you defend yourself if I hurt you."  
  
"We're not going to reach an agreement on this, Hans, so let me see your back again. I probably should call for Gerda, so she brings an ointment to treat those burns." She motioned to sit behind him, but he didn't let her, grabbing her by the waist.  
  
"You won't do such thing. I don't want anybody to interrupt us tonight. Besides, I'm a grown man and I knew what I was getting into when I decided to be involved with you, so stop worrying about me. I've been through a lot worse."  
  
That just exasperated her more, because she knew it was true.  
  
"And what do you want to do then? Because my body isn't cooperating and I don't think you want to spend the night frustrated or however it is that you're feeling right now.” She lowered her gaze for a second and saw that his erection had long ago died down.  
  
Hans studied her for a moment, trying to decipher what she was thinking.  
  
"But you do understand why it isn't cooperating, right?”  
  
"Of course. There's something wrong with me," was her blatant reply.  
  
He shook his head, a small smile gracing his lips for her ignorance.  
  
"No, my love, there's nothing wrong with you. In reality, it's been a misjudgment on my part, because I've never deflowered anyone before. You've been untouched for so long that your muscles are stiff, out of use, and they just need more attention. But that's why we're here for and we'll figure it out, together. We're not in a hurry, are we?"  
  
_He called me 'my love'_ , she thought with glee. It was the first time he used that term with her. She knew that he loved her or at least was pretty sure that he did. After all, he had admitted he was in love with her. But for some reason those two words felt different. It made everything more real, more true, as if he really wanted to claim her as his.  
  
She shook her head and felt his kiss on her lips. Hans stroked her hair several times before getting out of the bed. He didn't see a point in rushing a second attempt when the first had given away that she wasn’t ready. _No eclipse for now_ , spoke his mind as he walked towards the marble surfaced coffee table to get a drink.  
  
Elsa also jumped out of the bed, creating with her powers a long icy bluish nightgown to cover her figure without her companion noticing. She took a candle holder, lighted it, and went into the bathroom, where she looked for a small washbasin and the most similar thing she had to gauze. She went to the hearth next, where during the winter she usually kept a brass bucket with hot water just in case she needed it. Kneeling in front of the fire, she poured some into the washbasin.  
  
Hans, with the brandy bottle in his hands, saw her come out of the restroom from the corner of his eye. He squinted when he observed she wasn't naked anymore. Automatically, he knew it was a defense mechanism after what had happened.  
  
"What are you doing?" he asked filling the other unused glass on the tray Gerda had brought.  
  
"What do you think?" Elsa stood up from the floor and went carefully to the Eastlake table. She left the washbasin and the bandages on it and with her gift made some ice cubes to cool the water some.  
  
"This is not necessary," protested the Admiral.  
  
"Yes it is," she replied in a no-nonsense tone, taking the glass from him to drink a little. As the only person, together with his thirteen-year-old nephew, who had the magical ability to create and manipulate ice and snow, she had bothered to learn how to counteract and alleviate the damage she knew they both could cause on human skin.  
  
"It doesn't hurt."  
  
"Either you're lying or I don't care." Hans rolled his eyes. She returned the goblet to him and got a bandage.  
  
"Why did you put this on?" He definitely knew it wasn't because she was cold. He took the chilly crystal icy fabric between his fingers. "Take it off."  
  
"No," she answered dipping a fingertip into the water to check it was lukewarm.  
  
"Either take it off or I won't let you cure me," he said with a smart smile. Their eyes met and she could tell that below his mischievous expression he was being serious.  
  
"Fine." His wounds were more important. The nightgown disappeared in dancing snowflakes and Elsa's curvy body was revealed to his eyes again. "Turn around."  
  
The Queen dampened the bandage in the warm water and then placed it on the top burn, which was close to his tattoo. She was extremely careful, touching the injured skin feathery like. Hans stayed unfazed, taking a sip of the liquor and moving his other hand behind him to feel her.  
  
"Why did you cover yourself?" he asked caressing her hip. "You don't like me looking at you?"  
  
"It's not that. I just feel weird without clothes on." Elsa moistened the bandage again and tended the other red patch on his back while she kept talking. "Contrary to you, I'm not used to being nude so much, specially in front of another person. I feel exposed." She was aware of how comfortable and natural it was for him to be in his own skin. She wasn't sure if she would get accustomed to that.  
  
"If you feel exposed now, wait until we're joined together as one. I can't wait to see you burst in ecstasy."  
  
Elsa tried to not be distracted by the possessive way in which he grabbed her buttock, gluing her to him.  
  
"Don't make me more nervous. I already feel ridiculous as it is." As if her nakedness and her powers’ slip-up weren't enough.  
  
"If it makes you feel better, I'm under pressure here too, you know." He said looking at her once over his shoulder.  
  
"Really? Why? You look calm and very sure of yourself." She tried to put her wild hair into place with the fingers of one hand, with little success.  
  
"Isn't it obvious? Because I want to cause a good impression on you.” _Something I think I haven’t achieved yet._ “If I don't, it's likely you won't sleep with me again." He took another sip of the brandy.  
  
"I doubt that. You have a reputation for conquering women, which leads me to think you're a very good lover." Another round of soaking the bandages to treat the wounds followed.  
  
"You'll experience it for yourself, so you'll have to let me know what you think afterwards."  
  
Elsa decided to test him.  
  
"But my opinion won't be very reliable. I don't have anyone to compare you to, you're _the_ first."  
  
His brows rose at her words. "Oh, so you're planning to sleep with other men once you're done with me?" He asked turning to face her, interrupting her nursing.  
  
"Maybe?" she said with a teasing smile, looking younger than she was. "Depends on what you offer me."  
  
Hans didn't waver in his answer, looking into her eyes and catching her by the waist with the hand that wasn't holding the glass. "I'm planning on offering you everything. I want to be your last."  
  
"Good luck," she wished him with a straight face, as if his declaration hadn't affected her.  
  
The Admiral’s face reaction was so struck that Elsa couldn't help explode in a burst of laughter.  
  
"You're mean, undermining my moral that way," he complained.  
  
"Don't blame me, I have to be careful. I cannot let myself be captivated when you're using your charm to the fullest." She smiled at him and then dropped a kiss over his jaw. "Let me finish," she asked.  
  
Hans let it passed and obeyed, giving her his back. The night was still young and he still had his best cards to play.  
  
Elsa wetted the burns one more time before taking a step back to look at him. The marks didn't seem as red, which she was glad for. Taking advantage that he wasn't looking, she hungrily admired his toned physique. Despite its imperfections it was still a very beautiful body. It was obvious that Hans liked to be in shape. Her eyes danced primarily on one place. _He does have one fine bottom_ , she admitted to herself, tempted to touch it.  
  
"Are you done?" he asked half turning, catching her staring. A smirk appeared on his lips.  
  
Elsa blushed. "Yes." She busied herself, cleaning up the washbasin and the bandages.  
  
"You can keep looking if you want to," he teased her while she went to the lavatory. The Admiral went to the triangular shaped window to retrieved the other glass. He noticed Elsa's blue dress wasn't there anymore with his clothes, which only meant she had melted it earlier when she had used her powers. He filled both glasses with the alcohol, took a bite of the cheese and bread Gerda had brought and then went to the bed, where he carefully sat with his back against some pillows against the headboard and his feet crossed.  
  
When the Queen came out of the bathroom, she saw him waiting for her. Self-consciously, she got on the mattress and sat next to him, grabbing a cushion and crossing her legs.  
  
"Here," he said offering the other glass, seeing her hug the padded bolster with her arms, her stunning body being concealed once more. He would take care of that soon enough, so he didn't mention anything about it.  
  
"Did the warm water help? Do they feel better?" she inquired referring to his ice burns.  
  
"Yes, they do, darling. Thank you." He moved enough to kiss her head.  
  
"They would be better covered, but I don't have anything here and since you don't want me to go for it... " she said looking at the ochre colored liquid of her drink.  
  
"Elsa, I said they’re fine. They don’t hurt, so stop worrying."  
  
She looked at him powerless. "I can't help feeling guilty for leaving those marks on you."  
  
"Believe me, of all that I have, yours are precisely the ones I don't mind. And it isn't as if I haven't hurt you too, so let's leave this behind us, shall we?" He told her agreeably. "Let's toast instead." The Admiral raised his own glass towards her.  
  
"All right," she agreed raising hers.  
  
“You first,” he encouraged.  
  
“For our first night together,” toasted the Queen.  
  
"And for many more to come... if you evaluate I'm fitted for the job, of course," he joked clinking her glass with his own.  
  
They both smiled at each other and drank, feeling the burning liquor ignite their throats.  
  
"When was the last time?" she asked curiously.  
  
"The last time I what?" He held his cup with both hands over his thighs.  
  
"That you slept with a woman," specified Elsa.  
  
Hans thought about it for a moment. "Right after the Coronan Conference," he answered.  
  
That was a little over six months ago, she calculated. "Here in Arendelle?"  
  
“Yes,” he replied nodding.  
  
"Did you... like it? Enjoy it?"  
  
"Kind of." He shrugged his shoulders. "It didn't satisfy me the way it had before. I knew from then on no woman would do. I only wanted you, and to my misfortune, I knew I couldn't have you."  
  
"But that's not true, look at us now," she said not understanding.  
  
Hans looked into her eyes. "We're only here because you made the first move, because you actually want me here. I would have never advanced on you, even if I really wanted to."  
  
"Why not?" Elsa started to doubt if she wanted to know the answer.  
  
His green gaze returned to his drink. "For several reasons, the first and most significant, because you would have doubted my intentions. You would have thought I wanted to seduce you in order to get the crown."  
  
The Queen frowned. "But you told me you don't want to be king anymore," _my king_ , her mind corrected with a flinch, "and I believe you. Were you to become one, you wouldn't be able to remain at sea, something you've always loved, and you would have to deal with a lot of paperwork, something I know you're not fond of, even if you're not bad at it. I remember our conversations."  
  
The Admiral exhaled. “So what? I could have been lying and you know it." It was indeed very difficult to discern when he was lying, since he was so good at it. Although the better she knew him the better she felt she could read him. She didn't think he had lied to her then or that he was lying to her in that moment. "It is because of that," he continued, "that even with our friendship, I think you still have that concern on your mind, even if you hide it. And I guess I understand, although I won't lie, it rubs up on me after so many years." His expression didn't conceal how that thought bothered him.  
  
"Hans, I wouldn't let you be here in my room, on my bed, naked, about to take my maidenhood, if I didn't trust you," she said diplomatically.  
  
He nodded to himself without looking at her. “Yes, I know, but it's one thing for you to trust me with your body, and another completely different to trust me with your heart and mind. Maybe it's pretentious of me, but I want it all,” he declared.  
  
Elsa snorted, looking sideways. "Of course you would want it all, just like the ambitious sneaky fox that you are."  
  
"What did you just call me?" He turned his head towards her, astonished.  
  
"You heard me and you deserve it, for questioning my trust on you that way,” she replied more forcefully that she expected.  
  
"Ambitious sneaky fox," he repeated to himself amused. "Is that what you call me in your mind, Ice Queen?"  
  
She moved and sat right next to him, their skins brushing against one another.  
  
"According to you, I'm no queen tonight, I'm just Elsa." She kissed him on the freckled shoulder. She knew that maybe she had gone too far calling him that to his face and it was her way of saying _'I'm sorry'_.  
  
"Avoiding my question, beloved?" He put his arm around her, over her shoulders, and brought her closer to him. It was his nonverbal answer to her, _'I don't mind'_.  
  
She smiled to him. "I've called you many things in my head during all these years."  
  
He laughed heartily. "I don't doubt it."  
  
"No, but seriously, if you had to be an animal, I believe you would be a fox. They're cunning, agile, very clever, fast, energetic, and I see all those qualities in you. They're also versatile, as they adapt to their surroundings, something you've done since a very early age, and affable, as they live in packs, just like you do with your true family or your crew of men. And they're also cute, adorable and mischievous. You even have the same hair color of some of them," she said caressing his hair, making him relish her touch. “Ginger, auburn...  Yes, you're definitely a fox."  
  
The Admiral moved his face closer to hers. "I'll take what you said as a compliment then," he murmured before kissing her rosy lips.  
  
"You should," she sighed before being kissed again. "What kind of animal would I be for you, if I had to be one?" she asked interested.  
  
He separated a little and thought for a few seconds, looking at her features. Memories flooded his head.  
  
"A snowy owl," he replied without an ounce of doubt. Her eyes showed her amazement at his choice. "They're solemn, patient, elegant, downy, observant, and wise, very wise, just like you are." He put a lock of her albino hair behind one of her ears. "They have a quiet demeanor, with an air of mystery and diffidence. They're also perceptive, serene, intuitive, quite beautiful in a very special kind of way, and are one of the most powerful hunters of the Arctic tundra. And let’s not forget, they can fly."  
  
"I can't fly,” she stated comically.  
  
"You can fly in a metaphorical way, you have your powers. It's more than what the rest of us, ordinary people, have."  
  
"You're not ordinary,” she tried to reason, and he wasn’t, he was a very special man.  
  
“Oh, that’s right,” he said leaving the glass on his leg to move the fingers of his hand as if he wanted to do magic. “Look, I can make fire,” he said ironically. Obviously, nothing came out of his empty hand. "Compared to you, I am ordinary,” he settled.  
  
She shook her head smiling, knowing she couldn’t win.  
  
"I'm impressed. You seem to know this species well," she said very flattered by the animal he had compared her to. "Have you ever seen one?"  
  
"I have,” he answered nodding.  
  
"Really? When? Where?"  
  
"Here, in Arendelle, the day I got Fredrik out of the great frozen lake." His stare remained fixed on his drink, which was again in his hand.  
  
They both became silent. That day, her five-year-old nephew would have died drowned by his own ice powers if it hadn’t been for Hans. It had been the day they had all discovered, Fredrik included, that he had been born with the same gift she had.  
  
"I'll always be thankful to you for that,” she said after a while touching his forearm. “I don't know what would have become of us if we had lost him." She truly loved his nephew. Not just because he was her sister’s first-born son and he was an intelligent, polite, fun-loving young kid, but because he had something in common with her that no one else had. He was very unique and she loved him dearly.  
  
"I'll always be thankful to him, for it granted me the opportunity to start again, to have a second chance in life,” mentioned Hans putting his hand on top of hers. Indeed, Anna had reluctantly granted him citizenship in Arendelle as gratitude for saving her son’s life.  
  
They shared a significant look and then Elsa made another question to continue with the conversation.  
  
“So you saw the owl there?"  
  
"Yes. It was on a tree branch, looking directly at me,” he recounted. “I was surprised to tell it apart, they are hard to spot as they camouflage very well in snow. I remember it made me think of you. At that time I didn't harbor any feelings for you, save those of respect and silent admiration. But that white creature with yellow eyes was there, majestic, solitary, unmoving, not making a sound, observing me from an elevated position, just like I knew you were watching me in case I did something suspicious. Over the course of the years I've seen them a couple more times, whenever I've gone up the snowed mountains. Out of interest, I researched about them and found that the one I saw that day was a female. They are white but have dark scalloping on their mid to lower feathers. Males are white all around."  
  
_So for a time I was a vigilant owl to him_ , she reflected. An affectionate smile graced her lips.  
  
“I can’t believe I’ve lived here my whole life and I’ve never seen one," she said. "I hope I do one day."  
  
"I'm sure you will, you just have to pay attention."  
  
Hans moved the hand on her shoulder to her neck, padding with his fingers the beginning of her spine. His eyes fell on her mouth and he didn't waver in taking what he had at his reach. He pressed his mouth on her plump lips, the superior one first, the lower one later. Bit on them carefully. Once, twice, until she opened them and sighted, eclipsed by the sensation, gesture he took advantage of to seize her mouth and make it his. The flavor of the brandy danced between their tongues, burning, intense, aphrodisiac. Elsa felt herself succumbing to his advances and tried to regain a little bit of composure by breaking the kiss and putting a hand on his chest to slow him down.  
  
"Going back to the original question," she murmured catching her breath, "what other motives were there for you not to pursue me?"  
  
The Admiral, also inhaling to fill his lungs, smiled to himself. "Do you want me to keep talking for a concrete reason?"  
  
"What? No. I just want to know," she answered dropping her gaze, trying to act nonchalant about it.  
  
"I can tell you later." His fingers caressed her nape under her hair.  
  
"I want to know now," Elsa insisted flustered, looking at him again, holding his gaze.  
  
Hans remained silent a few seconds, until he decided he wasn't going to let her get her own way with it.  
  
"I know what you're doing and it's not going to work." He looked at her glass. "Finish it." Elsa resisted until she heard him say "Please." She gulped down whatever remained of the liquor and then gave the goblet to him. He finished his glass too and then placed both cups on the closest midnight table. "I don't mind talking, but we have some unfinished business that requires our urgent attention." He smiled at her knowingly.  
  
“You really want to try again?” she asked uncertain.  
  
“Elsa, I didn't reach my current position without persistence. Of course I want to try again. I want to make you mine,” he answered caressing one side of her face with his hand. “But the important thing here is… do you?”  
  
The Queen nodded. “Yes, although I don't want to hurt you," she finally confessed, her hands wringing together around the cushion.  
  
"You won't," he said to calm her down. "Pillow, get lost, I'm tired of seeing you." He grabbed it and threw it behind them, finally being able to appreciate her tempting body once again. That made Elsa smile behind her hand, releasing part of her nervousness. "Come here, we'll try something different this time." Hans moved a little bit forward on the bed and crossed his legs. He then put his hands on her waist, motioning her to get on her knees. "Sit on me, as if you were riding Sitron."  She straddled him, feeling herself exposed one more time. "There."  
  
Elsa laid her hands on his shoulders.  
  
"I like riding Sitron," she said innocently, trying to keep her nerves under control.  
  
"I believe you'll like riding me a lot more," he boasted with a naughty grin.  
  
Elsa blushed intensely, but didn't let herself be intimidated by his bold and lascivious remarks.  
  
“You’re such a flirt, Hans Westergard. Next time I’ll have to bring my whip.”  
  
The Admiral's eyes went wide, totally caught. He never thought he would get to hear something like that come out of her mouth. She was quick to follow his high voltage dalliances, and he really liked that. He smiled like a man that knew had found his perfect match.  
  
"You and I are going to have so much fun together," he said following the outline of her body with his hands down to her bottom, which he grabbed and pressed towards him. "I didn't know you were a pervert," he provoked, his lips lingering on her jaw. Elsa took the bait.  
  
"I'm not," she pronounced more serious, looking at him, "but I've had my share of flirts at balls and they can be very decadent depending on who you talk to. I may be a debutante at this, and naive, but I'm not blind or deaf. I can normally understand sexual indirects when I hear them, or most of them at least."  
  
"Good, because I do plan on perverting you in the long run." He buried his face in her neck, kissing and biting her throat, flaming her skin wherever he went.  
  
"You won't," she told him enjoying his attentions, her arms going around his shoulders carefully to avoid the top burn. "You can't pervert a pure mind."  
  
Hans stopped in his ministrations and gazed up at her.  
  
"Is that a challenge?" His hand palpated one of her breasts and he saw how it affected her. She closed her eyes and bit her lower lip.  
  
"Do you want it to be?" she whispered.  
  
"Hell yes," he almost growled.  
  
"It's a challenge then, darling," she said opening her eyes to look and smile sweetly at him.  
  
Hans devoured her mouth, slanting his head quickly to deepen the kiss and delve into her the same way he wanted to do with his body. One arm hugged her back, his hand holding her waist with eagerness. The other petted her breast, his fingers playing with her sensitive nipple. He felt himself hardening like a horse, just on her responses to him, and the need to penetrate her grew like the smoke cloud of a volcano in eruption. However, he was not going to make the same mistake twice. He would wait for her to be ready for him, make sure to hurt her the least possible.  
  
Heightened, tingling. That was how Elsa felt everything on her skin. Light headed, floating. That was due to his experimented kisses. And down low, in her abdomen, scorching, incendiary. She was totally aware of his length pressing against her, pulsing, beaconing her, promising things she couldn't imagine. A flash of the pain she had felt before crossed her mind, reminding her of the stinging discomfort. But she ignored it, trying to stay in the moment.  
  
Hans' large hand slid over her ribs, her stomach, her hip, until it landed on her thigh, where he caressed the skin up and down, warming it. She was so lost in counteracting his kisses with her own that she almost missed how his hand sneaked close to her inner thigh. Her hand was fast to catch it by the wrist.  
  
"No," she warned on his inflamed lips, kissing him again afterwards.  
  
As soon as she released his hand, the Admiral tried one more time, and got as far as her pubic hair. Elsa grabbed his extremity with more strength this time.  
  
"I said no," she voiced annoyed, their chests close, their eyes meeting.  
  
Hans could see the dread at the bottom of her blue iris.  
  
"You have to let me." His voice was full of desire.  
  
"No, Hans," she opposed. "You told me earlier that I can tell you what I don't like and what I don't want to do, and I don't want you to touch me there."  
  
"That's right, you should tell me. But why? Explain to me why, and if it is reasonable, then I'll back off."  
  
The Queen looked at him for several seconds with unease.  
  
"Because it's a sin," she explained simply, as if it should be obvious.  
  
"A what?" He couldn't hold down his laughter, making them both shake. "A sin? Where did you get that from?"  
  
"Where do you think? Shouldn't you know?" He waited for her to continue, not being able to suppress his laugh. "Stop laughing at me..." She pushed his shoulder.  
  
"I'm sorry, Elsa. It's just that... I believe you have a huge misconception about it,” said Hans smiling.  
  
"Didn't they teach you when you were younger that it is wrong to-" she started to ask.  
  
"Yes, they did," he interrupted her, "but I don't believe everything I'm told, specially if it comes from priests or doctors, save for my good old friend Porter."  
  
The Queen looked troubled. "But... the solitude vice... It's been proved it’s not healthy and that it can cause-"  
  
"Elsa," he cut her again, "I've been doing it my whole life and look at me. Do I seem unhealthy to you, insane, mentally decayed?" Her perplexed expression tried to reason what he was saying. "And besides, I'm forty years old. I think I've seen and lived enough to discern what is a sin and what is not, and this definitely isn't."  
  
Elsa stayed silent, assimilating the news that Hans masturbated and that he was fine with it.  
  
"I don't know..." She sounded confused and indecisive, letting her forehead fall on his shoulder. Of all the things she could have expected of him, that wasn't one of them. She had always associated the act of touching oneself or anyone else in such an intimate part as licentious and detrimental. Why else would priests claim that it was a sinful act? Why would doctors alert that it was an unnatural practice, that the chronic stimulation of the nervous system through masturbation led to madness?  
  
"Darling, I know it's hard to see it from another point of view when you've been believing one thing your whole life," he said massaging her back lovingly, giving her time to think about it. "But try it. Try it once and then you'll be able to judge for yourself."  
  
The Queen remained quiet, her hand doing abstract patterns on the chestnut hair of his chest. Her eyes darted down shyly, to where their bodies smelted together, light blond hair mixing with dark red hair, like cheese and wine. She averted her look embarrassed, reddening, thinking it was improper of her to look at something so... She couldn't even mouth it in her head. Her hand moved to cover his heart, and there she felt his pulse, strong, full of life, healthy. She compelled herself to look down again, to take a good view, to acknowledge what was real, what felt real. _This is Hans. This is us_ , she thought as a reassurance.  
  
It was evident to her that he had seen and tried it all, even things she couldn't start to phantom. She could tell in the feline way he carried himself, the open manner in which he talked about things, the boldness in how he touched and kissed her, while she, on the contrary, was trying to get out of her reclusive armor, with his help. All that led her to believe that he understood what he was talking about, more than her to be sure. He had been accessible and honest regarding how sex worked and contraception, and she had trusted in him, which meant that there was no reason to not trust him with this too, even if it was difficult due to her beliefs.  
  
"If you're worried that you'll go to hell for doing this, don't be," he said thinking that could be the motive of her hesitation. "I'm the sinner here for pulling you into this, for bringing you into the dark side," he finished with a seductive note.  
  
Elsa raised her head and looked to him, searching for answers.  
  
"Does it hurt?"  
  
Hans admired her beautiful features and knew it was his chance of winning her over.  
  
"In principle it shouldn't, quite the opposite actually. Although it can hurt if it’s not done correctly or if one intends to hurt on purpose." A crease appeared between her brows, her eyes clearly wondering _'why would anyone do it on purpose?'_ "Pain and pleasure are across a very thin line when it comes to sex." He set to show her, pinching with his fingers one of her peaked nipples hard. She complained and moaned at the same time, her hand going rapidly to cover her bosom.  
  
"Did it hurt?" he asked.  
  
"Yes," she replied quickly, rubbing her small pinkish bud lightly.  
  
"Was it pleasurable?" he inquired. “Be honest.”  
  
It took her more to reply this time, but she did.  
  
"Yes,” Elsa acknowledged.  
  
“See? There you have your answer. In any case, don't worry, I'll be soft on you." _For the time being_ , he finished impishly in his mind. "More questions," because he could see them in her eyes.  
  
"Isn't it immoral?"  
  
Hans smiled on the corners of his mouth, thinking of how correct, respectable and dignified she always looked. She probably thought that what he wanted to do to her was sordid and depraved.  
  
"Why? Because it goes against what is socially established, because it doesn't serve any other purpose than to please oneself?" he replied. "It may be immoral if you think that way. But who says that what is accepted by society is the right thing? Am I hurting anyone by doing it? Are we going to hurt someone by doing it? No. So it's not immoral for me. What I do in my private life is my own business and no one has a say in it except myself, except us."  
  
The Queen digested his answer and then continued.  
  
"What does your friend doctor say about it?" she asked interested, trying to collect as much information as she could on the topic.  
  
"He doesn't think it's abnormal to enjoy what we've been given," answered the Admiral laying his hands on her wasp waist. "He even went further and told me, in one of our last conversations, that masturbation was being used more and more as a diagnosis junk drawer for any kind of medical complaint, even when there is no real proof that one causes the other. Can you imagine how dangerous that is?" Elsa cringed when she heard him say out loud _'masturbation'_. The word sounded so twisted and turbid, as if its meaning was something bad, something one shouldn't do. "Think for a moment if you caught Fredrik touching himself and you decided to take him to one of these shallow doctors. He could end up mentally institutionalized, and he would for sure go through hell for it.”  
  
The idea of imagining his nephew doing something so bawdy unnerved her, but still, she gave herself a chance to try to see things the way Hans did.  
  
"I understand what you're trying to tell me,” she said, “but... but that doesn't explain to me how can your friend be so sure that it is not harmful, that the brain doesn't suffer from it?"  
  
"Because he's experienced it for himself and he doesn't feel like he's lost any of his faculties, and I can vouch for that too,” Hans replied without an ounce of doubt. “And also because he has colleagues that are more experts in the field than he is, and they've told him the truth. Half of what we're told is a bunch of crap, Elsa, it's popular superstition."  
  
"So you would be alright if Brigitta did it?" she asked referring to his grandniece.  
  
The Admiral applauded her persistence and acuteness.  
  
“I guess, as long and she keeps it private and is moderate and discreet about it. It's not as if I expect her to do it, but I don't mind if she does,” he explained. “I actually gave her _the talk_ while she was here in Arendelle."  
  
"The talk?" the Queen repeated frowning. "What do you mean?"  
  
"That I explained to her what happens between a man and a woman inside the bedchamber.” His words seemed to leave her quiet.  
  
"You did?" Elsa said after a while. She couldn’t imagine how embarrassing it must have felt for the teenager.  
  
"Yes.” He stroked the skin on her shoulder. “You see, Robert is of the mind that most of the problems with diseases and vice are due to uninformed persons. In his view children should be educated into sexual matters so they can make appropriate choices. He told me this many years ago and I ended up seeing it like him.” He paused for a moment before carrying on. “Had I been properly enlightened when I was young, I would have probably made some things differently, I wouldn't have been as carefree. Brigitta is like a daughter to me and she's almost a woman. It won’t be long before she marries,” he reminded her.  “I wanted her to know what to expect, especially from men. She'll be facing many challenges in the future and, at some point, sex will be one of them. I don't want her to find herself in a situation-"  
  
"Like I found myself here tonight," she finished for him with flat tone. Hans nodded.  
  
The idea that a sixteen-year-old girl already knew most of what she had learned that night made her feel terribly old and terribly foolish. She dropped her gaze, feeling in some way incompetent, her self worth decreasing in proportion.  
  
"What's that look I'm seeing there?" the Admiral asked concerned, raising her chin with his fingers.  
  
"The look of a woman that knows she's been an ignorant most of her life," mumbled Elsa with resigned azure eyes.  
  
"But you're not anymore. And," he highlighted, "you may have been ignorant about this but you haven't been in many other and more important things."  
  
"That's not the point. What would have happened if I had had to marry Morten?” she asked troubled. “I mean, are all men as patient as you, as straightforward? Probably not." Indeed, during their unexpected stay in the Southern Isles while the war raged on, Elsa had offered her hand in marriage to the King’s only son and heir, Morten, Brigitta’s father, to secure a treaty between both nations. The proposal never came to fruition, for Sigurd betrayed the Queen of Arendelle and her convoy and Morten had already been long dead at the hands of Sigurd and Hans’ own brother, Prince Heinrik.  
  
"I don't know what other men would do," that was a direct lie, for he for sure knew what some men would do with a stunning virgin queen in front of them, "but I can tell you what would have happened. One, my heart would have been crushed," he saw her roll her eyes, "and two, you would have found about this in a different way."  
  
" _Very_ different way," she specified. Elsa couldn’t ignore how nice, kind and open Hans was being with her. The more she thought about it the more she saw how fortunate she was. She may have not slept with a man before, but she knew of man’s strong, dominant and violent nature. Hans himself had assured her that he could have finished their sexual encounter very fast, that he could have done it without teaching her first, which is what another man would have probably done. In a way, she felt indebted to him, for his care and his affection that night.  
  
"Why are you getting so worked up about this? It's not what I intended,” said the Admiral.  
  
"Because I'm not as worldly as you are and because as outrageous as it is for me to think that you've talked about these matters with your adolescent niece, I understand now why you did it." She knew that the biggest problem with ignorance was that you could be taken advantage of.  
  
"I can tell you, it wasn't an easy conversation. Of all the things Brigitta could have expected from her granduncle, sexual education wasn't one of them."  
  
“I can imagine…” _I would have died if anyone had come to me with that conversation at that age_ , she thought.  
  
“She listened to me, although it was uncomfortable. Not so much for me but for her,” he mentioned recalling the experience.  
  
"Why didn't you ask Belle to have that chat with her? I think it wouldn’t have been as uncomfortable to speak those matters with a woman,” expressed the Queen.  
  
"Because I wanted her to hear it from me, her direct family, and also because I'm a man and I know how we think and the type of scumbags we can be, and I want her to be prepared. I tried to do it as smoothly as I could though. I left her two books after I talked to her, one erotic novel and another book that Porter gave me related to sex and anatomy. I think curiosity got the better of her and I was thankful for it. She returned them to me a couple of weeks later with a whispered ‘thank you’. Maybe she doesn’t understand yet why I did it, but I hope she will one day,” Hans ended with a wistful tone.  
  
"Will you let me take a look at those books too?" Elsa asked interested.  
  
"Of course, darling. I'll bring them to you the next I come here,” he agreed.  
  
A small smile appeared on her mouth. She outlined one of his reddish eyebrows with a fingertip. "Do you do it often?"  
  
"Touch myself?" Elsa nodded. "Depends on how I feel, if I'm in the mood or not." He took advantage of the closeness of her hand over his face to kiss the internal side of her wrist. "There are periods where I'm more worried or stressed and I'm not just up to it," he continued. "And then there are others where I can't seem to stop, like lately. But you are guilty of that, I can't stop thinking about you."  
  
"You... you touch yourself thinking of me?," she asked bewildered.  
  
“Yes, yes and yes,” he answered before pecking her on the lips. “How do you think I get aroused in the first place? I think of all the things I want to do to you and of all the things I want you to do to me. Most of the times, everything starts here." He touched her forehead with his index finger. "Don't you warm up when you think of us kissing, or touching?" he returned the question to her.  
  
Elsa nodded, dropping her gaze and hands, embarrassed by the confession.  
  
"It's okay to admit it, babe,” he said encouraging.  
  
"What kind of things do you imagine me doing when you...?" She didn't finish the question, but he didn't to.  
  
"That I prefer not to reveal and to show you instead. It would spoil the surprise and the fun for both of us."  
  
The Queen accepted it, but remained pensive about everything he had told her.  
  
"So, do you give me permission to... explore you?" The hand on her thigh scratched the skin delicately, reminding her of its presence there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N (updated July 2016):
> 
> i. One of the symbolic meanings owls have is how they bring change. The fact that Hans saw one the day he got Fredrik out of the lake meant a big change was about to come into his life, as it happened. Anna granted him citizenship in Arendelle and he was able to rebuild his life there.  
> ii. Masturbation was seen as a sinful and harmful thing to do during the 19th century. It was believed that it damaged the brain, or so doctors thought. One of the names by which it was known was ‘the solitude vice’.


	5. Chapter 5

"So, do you give me permission to... explore you?" The hand on her thigh scratched the skin delicately, reminding her of its presence there.      
  
The Queen nodded.  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Yes," she consented. "If I go to hell for this, at least I'll know I won't go alone."  
  
"In that you're right," he said with a victorious smile, kissing her. "I promise you won't regret it."  
  
But a couple minutes into it and Elsa wasn't very convinced of it. He started by separating her a little, to have space to work, and then she felt his fingers thread the hair on her mount of Venus, playfully, as if he wasn't in a rush. They went lower after a while and disappeared between her folds, sliding on her most sensitive skin carefully, reverently even, reconnoitering the terrain.  
  
"God, you're so damp already," he whispered mesmerized.  
  
Elsa automatically tensed and diverted her gaze, shying away from what she felt was an awkward moment. No one, not even herself, had ever touched her there, and she felt bared, opened, exposed, like a beautiful and colorful flower in the middle of a desert, on display, even sacrileged by his explorations. But there he was, the first one to step on untouched and promised land.  
  
"Look at me," he demanded in a deep voice, vigilant for any nuance of her expression. And she tried, she tried to keep her eyes on his, to please him because it seemed to be what he wanted of her. However, she just couldn't. His gaze felt too intrusive, too raw, as if he were seeing inside her soul, inside her very being. She tried to refuge her face against his neck, to avoid that intense and ravaging look, but he didn't let her.  
  
"Don't hide," he said moving his shoulder backwards without disentangling his hand from her.  
  
Elsa moaned when his fingers started to circle and rub her little bud, and the shame she felt was so big, her face igniting pure magenta, that she resorted to what she knew she could control and feel secure with: her powers. The colder she felt inside, the easier it was to not feel, to not show herself in an inappropriate manner.  
  
It didn't take long for Hans to notice something was off.  
  
"Elsa, why are you cooling yourself?" He could feel her body temperature going down fast, a block of ice between his arms instead of a warm human being.  
  
And then it all came crashing down.  
  
"I can't, Hans, I can't. This is not working," she said anxiously, covering her face with her hands and resting herself against his shoulder.  
  
Hans sighed deeply, closing his eyes. It was proving to be more difficult than he thought to melt her away.  
  
"What do you mean you can't? What happened? You were doing so well." Hans retrieved the sticky hand and with the other he caressed the hair on her head, trying to ignore the cold that was permeating from her body to his. He waited for an answer that didn't come. "Elsa, talk to me, don't leave me in the dark. Have I done something wrong, something you don't like?"  
  
The worry of his voice only made Elsa feel worse.  
  
She tried to get a grip on herself, gradually bringing her body temperature back to normal. Breathing deeply, she lifted her face and looked shyly at him.  
  
"No. It's just that I... I feel so ridiculous right now, Hans. This is very embarrassing. I'm very conscious that you are there looking at me, hearing me make all these weird noises while you touch me, and it unnerves me," she explained. "I don't know, it felt easier before when I only had to lie down and wait."  
  
The Admiral enveloped her in his arms and brought his face pretty close to hers.  
  
"I want to be here looking at you and listening to all the wonderful sounds you make. Don't you see? This is how it works. It brings me pleasure to know that I can give you pleasure. I give to you and you give back to me, and vice versa," he tried to make her understand.  
  
"But it's too close, too personal," Elsa almost whined. "I mean, not even twelve hours ago we were discussing documents across the desk of your office, and now... now we're here, stripped of all layers of decorum and propriety, and I feel like I want to crawl under my skin."  
  
"How did you think it was going to be, baby?" he asked her, as if she should have expected it. It was becoming clear to him that she didn't want him to see inside of her, that there was a wall she didn't want him to cross.  
  
Elsa closed her eyes and shook her head a couple of times, emotions battling against each other in her head: her desire to be more open minded and to soar with him versus her fear of surrendering herself completely, spiritually and physically.  
  
"I've never opened and showed myself so much to anyone before, Hans, and it is disconcerting and terrifying, like walking on unknown ground, on the edge of a precipice." She put a hand on his collarbone to keep the connection and looked at him out of the corner of her eyes. "Don't get me wrong, I want to let you in, share this with you, but it makes me feel bare, vulnerable and invaded. It makes me wonder what you'll think of me, if I'll disappoint you, and I don't know if I can take it. Maybe I'm not cut out for this..." she finished with a demolished note.  
  
A tender look came onto his face.  
  
"You know, it amazes me to see how all of this inhibits you when I've seen you fight at war, risk your life for your country and your people, face my treacherous king brother Sigurd when we were captured in the Southern Isles, and do many other incredible things. I would have never expected it, but the contrast is actually very sweet." Elsa dropped her gaze, blushing. "You should jump over the precipice and let yourself go, Elsa, because I'll be at the bottom to catch you." He bumped his nose with hers. "What are you afraid of? What do you have to loose? Me seeing you moaning and gasping, without strings, without holding anything back, enjoying this? I already dream of it every single night. That I'll see your inner beauty through your eyes? I can only hope that you'll let me, that you'll deem me worthy of it. The more vulnerable you feel, the more embarrassed and exposed, the more I'll want to hold you, to protect you, the harder you'll pull me into you, because I'll know how difficult it was for you to show me yourself that way and that you chose to do it nonetheless, because you trust me, because you love me."  
  
Elsa's heart gave a big hunch in her chest and her eyes moistened just from the emotions those words caused in her. She felt that the only way to answer to that was with a thankful and honest kiss. _I love you so much, Hans._  
  
"And it'll be the same for me, Elsa," the Admiral whispered when their lips parted. "You'll see me unguarded, surrendering to you, because you have that power over me, because I want you to cuddle me, because it'll be very liberating."  
  
"Can we try again?" she asked predisposed.  
  
Hans smiled. "We can try as many times as you want, my love."  
  
"Is it okay if I don't look at you all the time?"  
  
"What do you think?" he arranged her rebel bangs to the side of her face. "Whatever you feel more comfortable with. I simply didn't want to miss a second of it."  
  
"I'll do what I can," she promised.  
  
"Try not to think so much and just feel," he suggested, "discover this side of yourself. I guarantee that if you do it'll feel very good. And I can assure you, you are cut out for this, for me."  
  
"Okay," she agreed creating the space between them, so he could fit his hand.  
  
"Kiss me Elsa, kiss the fox." She smiled onto his lips and did as he said, circling her arms around his shoulders once again, being careful not to brush the top burn.  
  
Hans buried his hand again under her legs as Elsa's tongue played inside his mouth, caressing with his fingers the slippery small valleys he had so suddenly left before. He enjoyed the softness, the sponginess, the warmth that was there again after her unexpected cooling. One fingertip circled her entrance slowly and that by itself made Elsa moan timidly against his lips. She hid her face in the nook of his neck after that, pressing her breasts against his chest and hugging him tightly to counteract the shivers that rippled her body. The fingers trailed back until setting themselves on her nerve ending core, starting to stimulate bluntly.  
  
Elsa was aware of her ragged short breaths, of her heart thundering in her chest, of her tense legs at each side of Hans, of the blood in her veins boiling her from the inside out, and specially, of how she was losing control of her own body. Her hips moved involuntarily against his hand, and the sensation was so enjoyable, the echo of it resonating in her throat, that she tried to camouflage it by biting her lower lip hard. However, Hans noticed it all, even if he couldn't see her.  
  
"Yes, Elsa, move," he encouraged. "Search for my fingers, make them yours."  
  
To her surprise, hearing his voice was enough for her body to comply happily. Hans increased the rhythm when he sensed her hips following him and it didn't even take a minute when he felt her whole body trembling between his arms, her gasping close to his ear. He memorized every sound, every sensation, every feeling, because he knew he would only get to keep on living if he replayed it all in his mind when she was not with him.  
  
Elsa kept climbing, going higher, entering into a zone where she started to fade out, where nothing seemed to matter any more, except for the pleasure that corroded her from her inner thigh to every cell of her small body. And then she was there, at the peak, fast, intense, closing her eyes shut, shaking, moaning, melting by the pure magic of his touch on her.  
  
The embrace on him went limp, as did the rest of her afterwards.  
  
"Blessed God..." she murmured when she felt she could talk.  
  
Hans smiled against her shoulder, kissing it softly, his wet hand resting on her thigh.  
  
"Good?"  
  
"Very good," she answered with a dripping voice.  
  
"Want more?"  
  
"Yes," she replied nipping at his earlobe, making him shrink his neck. She didn't care anymore if it was a sin or not what they were doing. She only knew that she was in his hands and that she didn't want to be any place else.  
  
"Let me see you," he asked.  
  
Elsa relaxed backwards, letting him hold her, her hands on his arms. Hans had to repress the desire to assault her right there, on the spot, to lie her down and take her in a wild and rude manner. She was a nymph, with hair the color of sun rays, ice blue eyes glazed with the veil of sex, cheeks dyed the color of pomegranate, lips parted seductively and skin glowing with the crave satisfied.  
  
"Tell me what you've felt.” He lowered his head and kissed her over the top of her breasts, going upwards from there.  
  
"I don't think I have words," the Queen said still dazed.  
  
"Try," he insisted, his hand going back under her, damping his fingers once more with her moisture. She moved when she felt him, but didn't hide this time.  
  
"It was wonderful... revealing... fleeting... striking as lightning..." she said moving her fingers feathery on his arms, her dreamy expression remembering what she had experienced. Hans listened to her attentively. "I felt like I was being consumed by an electrifying huge wave of heat that overpowered my rational mind. I didn't know I was capable of feeling these things."  
  
"You're capable of feeling that and much more, you'll see," the Admiral told her.  
  
Suddenly, she saw how he put one of his fingers inside his mouth and she realized, with a scandalized face, that he was tasting her.  
  
"Tell me I'm not seeing you do that…” Her tone was incredulous.  
  
"This?" He licked another one of his fingers, his brilliant green eyes boring into hers as he savored.  
  
"Yes. It's disgusting." Her repulsed expression remained, although she didn't move away to stand up or flee. She didn't think he would let her anyways. As shocked as she was, she took it in stride, like everything that night.  
  
"That's what you think because of your pure mind." He gave a couple more licks to his fingertips and knuckles. "But believe me, in a couple of weeks you won't be thinking the same thing." He inclined his head in order to kiss her, on purpose.  
  
"Don't you dare!" she exclaimed putting her hand on his face and turning it to the side, keeping it at arm's length.  
  
Hans laughed and the reverberations went from his jaw to her shoulder.  
  
"So what? You're not going to let me kiss you anymore tonight?" he said teasing, turning his head and kissing her palm juicily, his tongue darting out at the end.  
  
She yelped, moving her hand away as if it had scorched her.  
  
"Not until you clean your mouth with soap."  
  
"We'll see about that," he challenged boldly holding her bottom better with one hand and introducing one long finger inside of her without warning, feeling right away how she clutched him strongly.  
  
"Hans!" she moaned taken by surprise, her eyes opening wide.  
  
"I like my name filling your mouth," he sang really enjoying himself. "Say it again."  
  
Elsa did, but not because she wanted to please him, but because she felt she was losing control of the situation.  
  
"Hans, please, you're.... uummh... not being fair." She could tell the dynamic had changed, that something had shifted in their roles as lovers. His eyes had darkened and his whole aura exuded dominance and power, while she felt herself getting smaller and smaller.  
  
"Damn right I'm not," he affirmed perversely, starting to move the finger in and out.  
  
She couldn't deny the sensation was very gratifying, too much even, almost like a drug about to overflow from a glass, but at the same time, she couldn't deny either that she felt overwhelmed and a little lost by this more aggressive and sharp side of him, aside she wasn't used to. He had always been correct when they worked together or when they saw each other secretly, intense like he always was, but correct and polite in his manners towards her. Now the curtain had dropped and she could see another one of his layers.  
  
The Admiral went to kiss her again and found her fingers on his lips, stopping him. They looked at each other. A flash crossed the bottom of her heavy lidded eyes, very subtlety, like the reflex of light on a salmon's scales in the river, and he saw it. It wasn't dread, but something close to it. It was enough to make him change his whole demeanor.  
  
"C'mon Elsa, I'm only playing," he said more softly against her fingertips, his hand underneath relenting.  
  
"I know you are... " Her hand caressed his smooth silk jaw.  
  
"Then play with me. I'm the cat right now and you're the mouse."  
  
"I'm scared to follow you," the Queen confessed, "you're too daring and I'm too new with all this. And... and I want to be the cat too."  
  
"You don't know how to be one yet..." he said alluding to her inexperience.  
  
"I know what it is to be in control." Seventeen years of reign were sufficient proof.  
  
"Do you want to take the reins then?" He separated and supported himself with his hands on the bed, leaving her on her knees, undressed of his body. "Go ahead. You lead, I follow."  
  
The need to be inside of her, to feel her all around him was overwhelming, his desire a prowling tiger eyeing its prey and being held off just by a thin leash. But he was not a hormonal young man anymore. He was willing to wait as much as he could for her, even if it felt like torture, because he knew that all the time he invested in her that night would lay the foundation for the future.  
  
Elsa stared at him impotent, seated on his thighs. He was constantly pushing her further, demanding of her more than what she thought she could give. He knew perfectly well she was in no position to finish alone what they had started, not without his guidance, which meant he was probably testing her. The phrases 'no, no, you continue' or 'okay, you win, I'll play' were on the tip of her tongue. However, she was not a person that gave up easily. She would try, even with her nervousness and shyness.  
  
She regrouped in seconds, analyzing what she had on her hands, deciding what she would and would not do. He was a good instructor, so she would follow some of his moves, although not all of them. She wouldn't touch him _there_ , not yet at least, as she felt she needed more courage to cross that line. She hesitated on the kissing. The idea of tasting herself on him was distasteful at best, and very, very censurable at worst. But she needed the kissing to win him over, so she would have to get over it. A thought came into her mind: _Maybe I can do all this with a twist._ Finally, she would have to let him participate, continue where he had left off, although at her pace. _I am ready. I can do this._  
  
Hans studied her over, admiring her sinuous figure, waiting. He didn't think she would have the guts to be in charge on the bed. Not so soon, not with her modesty. But his brows rose when she got onto her knees and approached him.    
  
Lifting her backside, Elsa dragged her knees forward to be above his hips, opening her legs a little bit wider, aware of his fully erect member. She rested her hands on his shoulders for balance, her eyes never leaving his, as if the blue sea and the green countryside were magnetized. Hans was totally expectant, holding his breath and looking up at her. And then she lowered her hips slowly right on top of him, cupping his length between her folds. Several things happened at the same time and she heard, saw, and felt all of them. He groaned, his pupils dilated and he got bigger under her. Her ego smiled inwardly for having been able to get that reaction from him. She bit her lip to contain the tremor that went through her with that intimate contact and then tried to concentrate. It was her turn and she had to make a good use of it.  
  
The Queen got her lips close to his mouth, almost brushing him, and waited a couple seconds, building momentum, his breath hot on her skin, the question dangling in his eyes.  
  
"Try to kiss me," she said as appealingly as she could.  
  
He seemed surprised for a moment due to her previous reaction, but he discarded it quickly.  
  
"Easy," he rasped leaning in. Elsa distanced herself, raising at the same time her hips from him. When he retracted she got closer again, her lower body cuddling him once more. He tried to kiss her one more time and she behaved the same, pulling away from his attempt. Hans understood the game immediately, his heart doubling its pulse. _Yes, Elsa, prove to me I shouldn't have kiss you senseless long ago and be done with it_ , he thought, knowing he was physically reaching his limit. One look at her eyes and he could read all over them _‘If I'm really the mouse, then come and get me.'_ That was the moment he realized he had underestimated her and was doomed to her wishes.  
  
Elsa teased him multiple times, putting her mouth at his reach to later avoid him, pressing herself against his aroused mast to later leave him waving in the direction of her core. She deviated a couple of times, kissing his sideburns with affection, plowing her warm lips through his neck slowly, feeling his frenetic heartbeats, biting the freckles she found on his shoulders excitedly. Her hands stroked the dark hair on his pectorals, the skin on his ribs, the muscles on his backside. It was on one of those detours that she noticed how he fisted his hands on the bedspread when she moved her hips on top of him. It made her smile covertly. She enjoyed immensely her newly discovered power on him.  
  
He tried once to hold her by the waist with his hands, his fingers digging into her flesh.  
  
"No. I'll tell you when you can use them." She didn't want him to distract her.  
  
Hans behaved, smiling, putting his hands again on the bed. She was already giving him orders, like the Queen that she was.  
  
Continuing with her explorations, her mouth even dared to go farther south, to the swarthy isle of his nipple. She licked it timidly once with her tongue, like she had seen him do with her, and searched his eyes for his approval.  
  
“Keep going. Don't be shy now," he said, his eyes submerged in a sea of lust.  
  
Elsa carried on, imitating what she had seen before. From licking to nipping to suckling, she made the effort to be thorough with each of the tiny buds, as he had been with her. She even introduced a new variable in their lovemaking, cooling her tongue from time to time to act as an ice cube, with the difference that it didn't melt.  
  
"Do you like it?" she asked in between cold kisses.  
  
"I love it, babe,” he answered in a very excited voice. Hans felt very proud of her. Despite what had happened earlier she was still able to be creative and to try new things, just like he had asked of her during their seated conversation near the fireplace.  
  
The Queen saw that her caresses had its rewards. She heard him breathing irregularly and felt his large body tremble underneath her. It aroused her tenfold. Now she was starting to understand what he had said about how giving pleasure brought pleasure in return.  
  
She kept playing with him, swaying her hips with more confidence as the seconds went by, rising and falling on top of him, getting the hold of it in a natural way, her open mouth teasing him endlessly, hovering over the parted lips he repeatedly wetted with his tongue. She even forgot about how embarrassing it had been before to show herself to him through the glass of her gaze, now looking straight into his eyes and moaning with him when she felt like it, the fact of being in control empowering her.  
  
Hans was totally under her spell, like the sailor the mermaid is about to take down with her to the bottom of the sea in order to drown him.  
  
Her hand caressed his right arm from the shoulder to the wrist, gripping his biceps with delight in between. She took his hand and led it to her inner thigh, giving him permission to touch her again. His green eyes sparkled. He was quick to gratify her, inserting one of his fingers inside of her, his thumb pressing against her sensitive nub. Elsa made a sound of pure satisfaction, her eyes going white for a moment, starting to rock his hand instead of his hips. Breathing unevenly, suspended in the fog of intimacy and passion, she brought her face close to his, her hands on his jaw and neck, feeling his frenzied pulse, and tried to draw him again to her lips. But the mouse never fell in her trap. And so, she tried with words.  
  
"I think... I think you don't want... to kiss me... You're... not trying hard enough," she whispered like melted chocolate.  
  
Whatever had been holding Hans in check seemed to snap with her sweet enticement. In a brisk movement, where he introduced a second finger roughly inside of her slippery cavity and pulled from her voluminous and platinum hair with the other hand, he had her at his mercy.  
  
"Hans..." she moaned with pleasure, her mouth agape under his by the tension he was exerting at her nape, her cheeks flushed, her eyelashes crowning her coin opened eyes.  
  
"Don't fool yourself, I can kiss you whenever I want to. I was only letting you play with me," he said with a ravaging look. Still, he didn't plunder her mouth.  
  
Elsa's hand went to the back of her head and touched his gently.  
  
"Don't... don't use your strength," she said almost without voice, letting him know he was cheating.  
  
The bonfire in Hans' iris only signaled how he couldn't take it anymore.  
  
"You're driving me crazy, Elsa. I'm not going to be able to hold on for much longer. I want you."  
  
"Okay, okay," she murmured, understanding. She sensed how his hand slackened in her hair, letting her move her head again. "Do what you have to do. I'm in your hands... literally," she added with a small smile moving her hips on his hand to lighten his serious expression. But Hans didn't smile back or laugh, dazed as he was by the unrelieved sexual tension, his erection painfully awaiting to reach home. He focused on getting her where he wanted to make her his for once and for all.  
  
He sat up straighter, bringing her with him. His two fingers worked her up for a little time, separating inside of her like a ‘V’ randomly, reading her for him while his thumb kept stimulating her little button. Her hips followed him without resistance, desire bubbling again in her lower abdomen. Elsa tried to kiss him, finally giving in, but found out he was the one now holding back, his experienced foxy eyes waiting to see what she would do. She emitted a very frustrated sound, feeling she had been the one being played all along. Taking his face in between her hands she forced herself on him, crushing her ice cold lips on his. Hans smiled inwardly and groaned with the change of temperatures that occurred between their tongues. What surprised Elsa was that when she violently raped his mouth he received her willingly, as if he had always been there waiting, a thirsty well clamoring for her nectar. And then the ripples from her core started again, making her vibrate with every move of her hips on his hand, increasing exponentially the faster he moved his fingers. It got to a point where she wasn't able to kiss him anymore, as she started to climax, more powerfully than the previous time, Hans drinking the sounds pouring from her open mouth.  
  
He took advantage of her orgasm to push himself inside of her, his hand directing his shaft. Elsa, enjoying the last whippings of her second oblivion, opened her eyes when she felt him stretching her tender skin. The hunger in his gaze intimidated and melted her at the same time. Her instinctive reaction was to run away from that invasion, raising her hips. However, Hans didn't allowed it, his hands rooted in her waist, holding her in place. She whimpered, having no escaping route but him. He was halfway inside of her, waiting a little intentionally, giving her time to adjust to him.  
  
"Relax, baby, take me in. We're almost there..." he told her.  
  
"Ok- okay..." The Queen breathed deeply, her heart still running like a greyhound, her thighs moving a little restlessly. She sank her hand in his hair, caressing it as lovingly as she could, her forehead and nose touching his. She forced herself to speak, so she could concentrate in something else other than the burning sensation taking place in her most intimate part. "That was... fantastic,” she confessed. “It felt... really really good... just like you said it would." It had been mind blowing.  
  
"I'll make you feel like that many more times if you keep me," the Admiral whispered against her lips, his eyes promising unmentionable things.  
  
Elsa smiled sated. "I'm keeping you, Hans. I'm going to keep you very close."  
  
His mouth encapsulated hers, one hand going to her buttock, the other behind one of her knees, pulling. "Circle me with your legs,” he asked her.  
  
Elsa understood and moved one leg around his hip, welcoming the blood circulation after being so long in the same posture. What she didn't expect, while moving the other leg, losing her point of support, was how he got in to the hilt in one swift move.  
  
Hans had been counting on it, letting gravity work on her body so it fell on top of his, connecting them finally as one.  
  
"That's it, Elsa... We've done it... Sorry if  I hurt you." He murmured between hot breaths, stroking her back and looking at her features.  
  
She shook her head with her eyes closed. "I'm fine..." It didn’t feel entirely comfortable, but it was bearable.  
  
"You're so brave, my love… You're doing very well,” he said trying to be tender, when all he wanted to do was to drill into her, not only with his body, but also with all his soul.  
  
She thanked his kind words with a peck and moved her lower body to adjust herself better to him. "I feel you so... immense."  
  
"And I feel you... very tight,” he answered, attracting her bottom more towards him. "This is fucking bliss," he muttered more to himself than to her.  
  
Involuntarily, learning with her body, Elsa clenched him strongly, her inner walls suckling him in, and he whimpered leaning his head on her neck.  
  
"Are you in pain?" she asked worried, not understanding what had just happened.  
  
He took some seconds to answer. "No, Elsa... I'm just… hard as a rock… because of you... Do it again,” he pleaded.  
  
"What?" she said oblivious.  
  
His hand snaked between their stomachs until it reached her belly, just on top of her sex. His fingers bent, sinking into her skin, as if he wanted to go through the flesh and squeeze her sexual organ. "Contract, here."  
  
She did, and he felt himself in heaven, the air escaping him. Elsa repeated seeing how much he liked it. The tremble that went through him almost made him come.  
  
Hans grabbed her bottom better and started to move her body and his for his own pleasure, the first time getting his member almost totally out, to later bury himself full again, his eyes glued to their union. Then he just went for it all, driving into her passionately, rising his head to see the way her breasts moved, swaying freely, and to connect his blazing gaze with hers. He wanted to see her face as he made her his, as he pumped himself wholly into her voluptuous body, dying and reborning by the thrill of finally sharing that experience with the love of his life.  
  
Elsa felt how he torn her up inside with each fast and sharp thrust, making her feel unbelievable and unknown things, completely fulfilling her. She tried to take everything in, to grasp as much as she could of that new _journey_. The sweat of their skins, sliding against each other; the speed of their breaths, kissing in the air; the strength of her heels, nailing into his lower back; the sound of their bodies joining together, slick and repetitive; the particular smell of their lovemaking, salty, intense and warm; the tone of his grunts and her moans, deep and high-pitched. But specially, she embraced the way Hans looked at her, intent, taut, relentless, as if he was chasing something and she was the reward. And at the same time, as if she was a Goddess that could crush him with the power of her physique and sensuality. Just as he had told her, he was unguarded and vulnerable in that special moment, the same way she was, and he didn’t try to hide. He opened and gave himself completely to her, so she could see how he really was, the real him, with all the cracks and flaws. She had never felt more powerful and alive.  
  
As much as he wanted to release inside of her, he knew he couldn't and he wouldn't slip. He continued tireless until he felt himself starting to shake, moment in which he got out of her, taking his cock in his hand and coming in it, wetting in the process part of their bodies. Elsa saw how his face contorted and how he gravely groaned, his eyes shutting acutely, his large figure pulsing strongly with the release until he deflated in her arms. His head rested against her neck while his arms went around her waist, his hand leaving a wet trail on her skin. His lungs worked extra, recovering the needed oxygen, while his heart tried not to get outside of his thoracic cage.  
  
Elsa petted his nape and his back, waiting while she felt the warm liquid of his sperm on her skin.  
  
"Hans?" she asked.  
  
"Give me a moment..." he answered in a hoarse voice.  
  
"Okay, my love." She hugged him better with her legs and arms, kissing him softly on the neck and caressing his damp hair.  
  
After some time, in which only their breaths and the crackle of the fire could be heard, Hans finally gave signs of being still alive. He kissed her from the collarbone until the sensible skin behind the ear.  
  
"I take back what I said. You know how to be a very sexy kitten," he murmured squeezing his embrace on her. "I don't know what it'll be of me once you learn more."  
  
Elsa smiled brightly, moving her head back to see him. He looked very handsome with his cheeks flushed and the freckles standing out like copper stars under two heavy lidded green suns. "That you'll be the mouse more often," she joked.  
  
"You like control, huh?" His clean hand hid in her golden mane.  
  
"Yes. It's what I'm used to," she admitted.  
  
"With time you'll discover that being submissive can also be very exquisite."  
  
"Are you talking from your own experience?" She pushed the reddish hair back from his face.  
  
"How would I know if not?"  
  
She nodded to herself, smiling, as if it should have been obvious.  
  
"So... this is you releasing?" she asked touching with the tip of her index finger the whitish mass.  
  
"Yes, this is me having an orgasm," he replied watching her.  
  
"Does this happen every time?" She checked the texture of the substance rubbing her index and thumb fingers, realizing it was sticky.  
  
"Yes, unless I don't come, in which case it is somewhat painful."  
  
"Come?" she repeated not understanding the meaning.  
  
The Admiral comprehended she wasn't familiarized with the term, which was to be expected considering how she hadn't known much about sex until that night.  
  
"Yes, it means the same as releasing or climaxing, to go all the way. It is the colloquial way of saying it," he clarified.  
  
"I see." She cleaned her fingers on his shoulder skin with a pensive look. Hans smiled by the gesture. "I feel bad for earlier then, when it didn't work. It must have hurt you."  
  
"Why? You didn't know and I didn't mind," Hans reassured her. "You're learning, Elsa, and that's what matters. Don't worry about it."  
  
He looked at the semen on their stomachs and was tempted to ask her if she dare try it like he had tasted her before. It was probably a suicide suggestion based on her previous reaction so he discarded it and went at it in a different angle. "Do you think this is gross?" He signaled their bellies with his chin.  
  
Elsa observed the greasy sexual painting on their skins during a few seconds before speaking. "Mmm... no. This is your seed, a part of you, and I don't consider you gross. But it's messy, as you said."  
  
The Admiral couldn't believe what he had heard. She was too nice, and kind, and lovely, and adorably sweet, and he didn't know what to do with her because his heart was about to burst any minute from the love it held for her.  
  
"That's funny, because you thought it was disgusting how I tasted you with my fingers earlier,” he reminded her with impish eyes.  
  
The Queen furrowed her blonde brows. "It's not the same. This seems to be natural, but what you did…”. Her face wrinkled just at the thought of it. "I mean, it's my most intimate part, it wasn't created to be savored. It's even likely that it doesn't smell good..." she finished reddening.  
  
Hans laughed and started to lay down on the bed. "Come here," he said taking her with him. "Watch out your feet." He helped her to get her legs from behind him. While on her knees, Elsa fixed her gaze on the sperm with doubts and then looked at him. "I'll clean us up later, don't worry,” he said.  
  
She nodded and stretched on top of him, placing her forearms on the mattress. Her platinum hair fell over her back and shoulders like a soft light curtain. "Why did you laugh?"  
  
"Because I understand why you say those things, even if I don't share them." His hands found their way to her bottom. "But it's fine. It's logical that I'm more open minded regarding sex than you are. I've been doing this a lot longer."  
  
"Perhaps too much," she muttered getting herself more comfortable on his body. Hans didn’t know if she referred to him being too open minded or to having too much sex.  
  
His body was larger than hers, so Elsa had to drag herself higher to have her head at his level. She could feel the warm stickiness between their abdomens as she sled, thinking it was a weird sensation, as if their skins were glued to one another.  
  
The Admiral smiled, his eyes admiring the beautiful peach color of her cheeks. He decided to risk it. "You asked me earlier what things do I imagine doing with you while I touch myself."  
  
"Yes, and you said you were not going to tell me, to not spoil the surprise," she reminded him. They looked at each other's eyes curiously, trying to discern the boundaries of their connection and of their relationship now that the first time had been consummated. To their surprise and joy, they were limitless.    
  
"I might do an exception here, so you can start thinking about it. Hopefully, you won't say no when I try to carry it out."  
  
"All right. What is it?" she asked.  
  
"What would you say if I told you that one of the things I fantasized with is putting my mouth between your legs?"  
  
The question took the Queen aback, for her eyes widened and searched his face, trying to decipher if he was playing with her. But she quickly realized he was not.  
  
"I would say that you're crazy and that you're a pig, and a pervert, and a..." she started.  
  
"I got the message," he interrupted with a small smile, not surprised at all by her reaction.  
  
"Seriously, why would you want to do that? It's nasty," she pronounced vehemently.  
  
Hans adored the way she got offended. "You won't understand it until I do it."  
  
"I won't let you,” she voiced with her face close to his, “and as I well know now, you'll respect my wishes." She showed him a confident smile.  
  
"I'll respect your wishes, but that doesn't mean I won't try to convince you. Give me your hand." His clean hand appeared in their line of vision, waiting for hers.  
  
"For what?" the Queen said distrustful.  
  
"Give it to me and you'll see."  
  
Elsa sighed and offered one of her hands, seeing as there wasn't any real reason to oppose him. "Lay your head here and close your eyes." He put his hand on her nape and made her lower her head until it was comfortably nested in his neck, under his chin.  
  
"What are you going to do?" she asked impatiently, her curiosity growing by each second.  
  
"Shhhh..." He grabbed her hand again. "Close your eyes and stay quiet until I finish. Don't interrupt me, just feel, alright?"  
  
"Yes." Her eyelids went down.  
  
"You promise me?" he asked to make sure she would hold on until he was done.  
  
"I promise," she replied, expectant.  
  
With her ear pressed to his chest, she could hear his heartbeats, a steady rhythm that calmed her and made her feel she was in the place it corresponded to her, between his arms.  
  
The Admiral checked that she had indeed closed her eyes and then focused his attention on her small hand. He pressed a long kiss to her palm, to later start making love to her delicate yet full of magical power extremity. He kissed each one of her pianist fingers tenderly, with devotion, and followed it with brief licks of his tongue. His nose also participated, caressing her skin without hurry, trying to discover all the secrets it held.  
  
He felt he couldn't work well with just one of his hands and so he cleaned his other one on his leg as best he could to hold her hand the way he wanted. Her joints went stiff when he licked with his tongue from her wrist to her middle fingertip.  
  
"Relax it," he told her and the Queen obeyed, hearing her own breathing accelerating by the sensations he was making her feel.  
  
Hans didn't leave anything to the imagination. He seduced her hand the same way he would have if his mouth were between her legs, with enthusiasm, intensity, deepness and an inexhaustible source of desire. He absorbed her skin as if he wanted to leave love bites and made his tongue dance between her fingers like it would do between her folds. His teeth gently scratched the soft flesh of her palm, following the veins that he could see through her translucent skin. More kisses were deposited on the back of her hand and on her knuckles while his nose and his hot breath nuzzled every angle of her sinuous phalanxes.  
  
Elsa, still with her eyes closed, couldn't believe that such attentions to a hand could elicit so much inside of her. To her dismay, she was liking it, liking it a lot. Her heart was already galloping, her nipples were hard from minutes ago and inside her mouth, she was salivating. Yes, she was feeling, as he had asked her, feeling too many things. _What is wrong with me? How can I be liking this?_ she reprimanded herself. She knew what he was doing, how he was bringing her to his own point of view. _He wants to show me what he would do if I allowed him to... No, Elsa, don’t!_ She didn't finish the thought, but it was already too late, for her imagination took over and recreated the scene: his red hair between her thighs, his large hands holding her, his tongue whipping insistently at her core, circling it with deliberate precision, like he was doing at that exact moment on her curved palm. Hans chose that instant to put two of her fingers inside of his mouth, savoring them as if they were an exquisite feast. That was her perdition, it was too much. She squirmed of pleasure on top of him, pushing her nose into his neck, her parted lips panting, her other hand holding onto his torso.  
  
She felt his smile on her fingers for a second before he kept lavishing her with the erotic moves of his wet and warm tongue. Her rational mind shouted that she should be ashamed of enjoying such a degenerated and lascivious thing like that. But her body was already miles away, eager to fall under the spell of its lover.  
  
The next time Hans sucked on her fingers, getting them inside and out of his playful mouth, his tongue sensually swimming in the spaces in between, Elsa couldn't hold herself back. She moved her index fingertip inside his mouth, trying to touch the tip of his tongue lightly. The Admiral's reaction was to bite her sweetly.  
  
He pulled her fingers out. "Now you want to play to me?" he asked mockingly, the moment where he had told her he was the cat and she the mouse coming back to his mind.  
  
Elsa opened her eyes and raised her head, dragging herself higher.  
  
"Hey, you're breaking the rules, I haven't finished. You promised," he said losing control of her hand and seeing her glazed heavy lidded eyes, completely dazed by his hand-petting.  
  
Her fingers regained their own life and caressed his lips very slowly. She wanted to pounce on those marvelous lips.  
  
"I'm not stopping you," she said getting all her platinum hair to put it on one side over her shoulder. "Finish," she added returning her hand to his mouth, her gaze fixed on him.  
  
_Damn, she wants to watch_ , flashed through his mind with excitement. Regardless of if she let him get down on her in the near future or not, that already felt like a victory. Elsa got more comfortable on top of him, holding her head with the other hand, the elbow resting on the mattress.  
  
The Admiral resumed where he had left off, sucking her fingers, with the difference that now his two smoldering green iris had two cerulean mirrors in which to reflect himself into.  
  
The Queen observed him with a combination of embarrassment and awe, trying to wrap her mind around the fact that he was enjoying himself. She could see it his eyes, in their mischievous gleam, as if her visual presence motivated him more. She saw him kissing each one of her fingertips and biting her nails. His tongue went between her index and middle fingers, sliding in a very provocative and almost obscene way, and without noticing, Elsa started panting again. Hans loved her unadulterated reactions; the manner she felt it she showed it to him.  
  
He went for the final act, closing her hand into a limp fist and bringing it to his mouth. His tongue disappeared inside one end and repeated the motion several times. Hans noticed the exact moment at which Elsa recognized what it was simulating, for she pressed her body against his.  
  
"Does this look familiar to you?" he teased with half a smile before carrying on.  
  
"You have no shame," the Queen said with an intense gaze, being turned on by his damp and repetitive moves. One of her legs fell on the side around one of his, as if it wanted to hug it. "I hate you," and by the tone she used it was evident she meant completely the contrary. She 'hated' that he was perverting her just like he said he would, planting the seeds of impure thoughts in her brain, thoughts that if it wasn't for him, she wouldn't otherwise have.  
  
"Me too," he replied, the smile reaching his eyes.  
  
"I want to kiss you," she voiced a little impatient, "but I also want you to finish."  
  
_That's a very good sign_ , sang his interior voice. "I'm almost done, baby."  
  
He penetrated her fist with his tongue for some more time, until he decided to pamper the interior face of her wrist, kissing, nibbling and licking it. He finished the same way he had started, with a long kiss to her palm. He placed her hand on his cheek and locked eyes with her. "That's all I want to do down there, nothing else."  
  
Elsa remained silent staring at him for a few seconds and then kissed him with deepness.  
  
"Is that a yes?” the Admiral asked when she separated.  
  
She shook her head. "No, it's a maybe."  
  
"Then I already feel victorious," he said snickering.  
  
"Don't cry victory too soon," she advised just to needle him. She was aware that he had already won, for it was only a matter of time, of when would she give in to his indecent proposition.  
  
The Admiral only smiled and closed his eyes when she started to stroke his hair, his arms hugging her. She observed him attentively while he breathed calmly: the blackness of his eyelashes, the infinite freckles, the couple of small scars that graced his cheek and jaw, the now ruffled sideburns, the thin lips. And while she looked at him she thought of what they had shared.  
  
"I've never felt so close and so connected to another person in my life like I did with you before," she voiced quietly to not disturb the peaceful moment, referring to when they were joined together as one minutes ago. "I imagine you have..."  
  
"No, not really," he answered barely opening his eyes to see her, the green of his iris shining like golden nuggets in a river. "Not at this level or with this intensity." The back of his index finger caressed the skin of her cheek tenderly. "I've never really been in a serious relationship. The closest thing I've had to it happened when I tried to get out of piracy,” he said. “I rented a small cottage in Gormund, in the outskirts of the city, where no one knew me. I had become rich enough by the conquest of a Spanish vessel, so I could afford it," he explained. "One of the neighbors owned a boarding house and a school for young boys. A couple of months after I arrived I became a teacher of fencing and languages at said school." Elsa suddenly paid more attention, opening her ears. That was information she already knew thanks to her Godfather's diary. "There was one student's mother, a noblewoman who lived near the village, who came often to visit. All the boys loved her, because she always brought treats for everyone. I got along with her very well from the beginning and, after some time of flirting, we became romantically involved, although from doors inside."  
  
"But... wasn't she married?" the Queen asked skeptical turning to caress the hair on his chest.  
  
"She was, but she had become a widow five years earlier when her husband died in an accident,” Hans answered.  
  
"Oh, I see..." She stayed silent for a few seconds. "So you two saw each other frequently?"  
  
"Whenever she visited the school, which was once every two or three weeks. It lasted until I was discovered," he recalled.  
  
"How was she?" the Queen wanted to know, interested in the type of woman that had caught his attention during such period.  
  
"Physically?" the Admiral confirmed. He saw his Nordic goddess nod. "She was dark brunette with honey colored eyes and fair skin. I think a little bit taller than you..."  
  
"Did you consider her beautiful?” she asked trying to keep a nonjudgmental stance about the subject.  
  
“Maybe not beautiful, but pretty. I did consider her enigmatic and I definitely felt attracted to her. She didn't stand out, but she had something that made men look at her," Hans replied, still enjoying the caresses she kept lavishing on him.  
  
"And personally? What was she like?" continued Elsa, intrigued by this part of his life unknown to her.  
  
"She was... polite, educated, nice in a very refreshing way for me at that time and she had a good sense of humor. I felt comfortable around her and with time I found out that she was easy to talk to."  
  
With the details he had given her Elsa tried to recreate her in her mind. The only thing she achieved was envisioning a dark brown haired gorgeous classy woman of white skin between in his arms. She closed her eyes with the intention or erasing such image, but it didn't work.  
  
"What was her name?" asked the Queen, the thirst to know about his previous lover growing like foam inside of her without her wanting to.  
  
"Emma Sherbrooke. She came from a wealthy merchant Antalonian family dedicated to the textile industry. She became the Marchioness of Avalon after marrying." Hans noticed she had stopped stroking him and that she was looking at him intently. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Did you love her?" And suddenly, the seriousness in Elsa's voice became evident.  
  
"You already know the answer to that," he answered coolly, sensing the conversation was putting her off.  
  
"But you must have felt something to want to be with her," she insisted, knowing it was irrational of her to feel jealous of a woman he had met many years ago.  
  
"I felt very lonely, Elsa, and so did she. We were miserable for our own specific reasons and we found solace in each other's company." Hans clarified. The Queen diverted her gaze, but with one hand he made her look at him again. "Don't believe for a moment that it was like what you and I are sharing tonight. It was manageable and heartwarming, but superficial and temporary. I couldn't tell her who I really was or that I had been a pirate a couple of months earlier, something that, ironically, went against me later on. As peaceful as that time was for me, it was like living a lie." Elsa stared at him, touching his hand. She expected to hear further, but understood if he didn't want to talk about it anymore. "With you, however,” he continued, “is completely different. Of all the people I've known you're probably the one who can understand me better. You know where I come from, what I've gone through, and specially, what I've done. You've seen me at my worst, and still..."  
  
"So have you, Hans," she interrupted him moved by his words. "You've also seen me at my worst."  
  
He huffed. “Our situations were not the same, the motives behind our actions were very different back then and both of us know it," the Admiral reminded her, seeing how she frowned her brows and opened her mouth to speak. Hans was faster than her and he smiled because of that. "But what I want to get at is that I don't have to pretend with you, darling, I can simply be myself around you, you accept me for who I am... and that doesn't have a price." He embraced her with fondness. "I have no secrets for you, Elsa. Anything you want to know just ask."  
  
She smiled affectionately and then kiss him once on the lips. "Did you keep in touch with her?"  
  
"Actually I did, and to this day we still write letters to each other. Although not at the beginning." He rejoiced when the Queen buried her slim fingers in his chest hair again. "When everything exploded and the village people jumped on me and everything fell apart, including my relationship with her, she told me that she knew we didn't have a claim on each other but that it did hurt her immensely that I hadn't told her truth. I tried to make her understand that I couldn't risk it, that I had been harassed and humiliated for most of my life for being who I was and for the things I had done.” Hans sighed. “She didn't want to hear about it. She said she didn't want a lier in her life and that she never wanted to see me again." The Admiral made a grimace by the memory. "It was very hard because during all those years that I wandered from one place to another, by foot or by ship, it wasn't easy for me to make friends and, regardless of the sex I shared with her, I had come to consider her one."  
  
Elsa almost voiced that honesty and trust were the foundations on any relationship, and that if that didn't exist, it was very difficult for it to work. But he already knew that and she didn't want to make him feel bad for it.  
  
"But then, if she didn't want to know anything about you, how is it that you're still in contact with her?" she questioned.  
  
"Before leaving the town for good, I left a small note for her where I wrote where she could reach me if she ever needed my help or wanted to find me. I mean, I may have not been in love with her, but I had grown to feel affection for her and she mattered to me."  
  
"Where was that? Where could she find you?"  
  
"Robert's office address. I knew he wouldn't mind," Hans answered referring to his doctor friend. "When in Gormund, I always visited him and his family whenever I could, even if years had gone by. I didn't know it at the time, but Emma wrote me several letters during the year after I left. I went back into piracy, which was the worst decision I could have made, for it led me into the slaver. Still, even that hellish experience had its positive side: it brought me to Arendelle, which in turn brought me to you.” They both shared an intense look. "Once I settled here I wrote to Robert, telling him where I was and what had happened since the last time we had seen each other. When he answered me he attached Emma's letters. In them she told me she regretted the way we had ended and that she felt she hadn't been fair with me." The Admiral showed a pensive expression. "I remember I had a lot of doubts on whether to write her back or not. More than three years had passed and I wasn't sure if she would want to know about me… At the end I decided to write her and it paid off, for the reconnection was quite warming. We wrote to each other for a couple of years until we finally were able to meet again when I made a trip to Gormund off duty."  
  
Elsa remained quiet for a moment with her eyes averted, until the curiosity won her over. "And you two... reconnected at an intimate level again?” She was afraid to hear the answer, but she needed to know.  
  
Hans laughed, she said it so formally. "No, we didn't. Emma remarried and when I saw her she was pregnant of her third child.”  
  
"Oh..." Elsa breathed relieved.  
  
"Yes. Besides, she almost didn’t recognize me when we met. During my stay in the village I always wore a bear and a ponytail, so when I appeared shaved and with short hair, she wasn’t sure it was me. She said I looked a lot younger without them.”  
  
“And you do,” mentioned Elsa.  
  
“Oh, so you noticed when I grew a beard and my hair here in Arendelle?” he asked flattered that she had paid attention to him during those years.  
  
“Of course I did,” she confessed with a Mona Lisa smile.  
  
“Anyways, we weren’t interested in each other that way anymore. There hasn't been anything romantic between us since I left the village in Gormund, if that's what you’re worried about. We're simply good friends, nothing else," he clarified.  
  
"Well, no, I didn't mean..." Elsa tried to retract, uncomfortable.  
  
"Honey, I understand, but you shouldn't feel threatened by Emma or by any woman.” He raised his head to kiss her, lingering at the end. “I’ve been pinning for you for a very long time and, independently of what happens in the future, I won't risk what we have. I'm yours, Elsa, and no one else’s.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N (updated July 2016): There’s one chapter left and I already have half of it written down, but I don’t know when I’ll finish it since I’ve suffered a huge mental block with this story.


End file.
